i cant take my life anymore. for the past 2 years i've wanted to die. i have no reason to go on in life. i don't go to school, nor do i have any motivation to do so at this time. i'm not in a relationship, nor have i ever had one. i think i have no friends. i'm alone. i feel i am "invisible" to begin with. no one has ever noticed me while i'm around, therefore it won't matter if i'm dead or alive. i've tried to make positive changes in my life, but it doesn't work out. granted i'm sure someone would say i didn't try harder or at all. no matter what i say or do, nothing will change. everything will be the same in my life no matter what. the couple months have been brutal to some extent. over the years i've prayed to god from time to time before going to sleep. i don't consider myself religious, but god's out there i guess. i ask for happiness and a reason to go on living. lately i've just asked god to kill me. i haven't gotten a reason to live or happiness. i would take happiness and a reason to live over dying, but it will never happen. over the past couple weeks/month people i know have been getting into car accidents, dying, and having strokes. i'm tired of all these bad things happening to everyone else. i am the one who WANTS to die. why does everone else i know have these terrible things happen to them, when they want to live? i am just a waste of space. i will never accomplish anything in my life, why can't i just die? i'm tired of hearing about the deaths of others who have done something with their lives and would have continued to do more great things if their life wasn't cut short. i just want to know why i can't be chosen to die instead of someone else who mattered and done something while they were alive. theres more to this, but this is my first post and i don't even know if i'll post again. how exactly am i supposed to feel about strangers reading my private/personal thoughts?