my anxious and ridiculous day

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by bubblebear, Sep 6, 2016.

  1. bubblebear

    bubblebear Princess

    Today my dad was angry. no idea why, im a bit worried to be honest because when hes stressed he needs an outlet, im hoping that won't be me? :oops: fingers crossed. i dont deal with anger well

    i went to the petrol station to get credit and made a fool of myself by thinking i could get cash back wihtout buying anything :( i think the cashier person felt anxious when i got anxious. woo way to go. i went to the pharmacy to get dental floss. that was okay. apart from people randomly looking at me. i think ppl always stare at other ppl though. i wish they wouldnt though.i feel like theyre judging me

    on the way back i passed the same boy who shouted 'HERRO' at me a month back and laughed with all his friends. this time i passed him and he jus said 'HEY!' really abruptly, i didnt respond to the likes of him:cool::( . im scared though. i dont know why im scared of someone more than 10 years younger than me :( .

    feel like my day was like a rollercoaster, iwas upset and scared about my father and then when i went outside i couldn't really cope. icame home thinking i couldnt really cope with a life inside/outside the house. kind of frustrating. i called samaritans and talked for a bout 10 misn before i got uncomfortable and hung up. i felt bit better after airing it out tho .

    i dont know, i feel like im scared of myself. i can't cope with anything. people in the petrol station and chemist probably think im a weirdo. but i needed call credit and dental floss! :mad::mad:

    i think ill study a bit ( becuase im back in colelge in less than two weeks andi know ZILCH), reply to the fesitval co ordinator whos a bi weird but ah well, spy on the kids outside, and then watch a movie on netflix to 'treat' myself. im sad:(

    cupcake :oops:
    IamTetsuo likes this.
  2. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    I hope your movie brightens up your spirits. And honestly, I think people are intrusive the way the just stare at everyone else. Sometimes they'll look away when you catch their eye, but some won't and it's so uncomfortable! I remember when I moved to my current place, it's a cottage in a quiet mountain village, it was like something out of a movie...blinds and curtains opening as we drove up to the cottage, then when we looked, quickly shut...people staring at the house, our moving van, our car...the nerve!

    I hope you're safe at home. I deal with anger from time to time and I don't do very well with it emotionally. Hugs xx
  3. bubblebear

    bubblebear Princess

    thank you. yeh i have noticed that some ppl in my village stare too much. maybe theyre just suspicious. but it happened when i was with someone else too so hopefully its not something wrong with me :eek: mountain village sounds nice :) v picturesque. yeh fine, he's angry when he has to deal with me ha cos i dont sweettalk him like my mother does:rolleyes::oops: . but i'll just focus on me. all i can do really

    hug x
    Frances M likes this.
  4. Frances M

    Frances M Mountain Woman

    It is very nice here except on holidays and Saturdays when the "weekenders" come. They're so loud and disrespectful, I just want to wrangle them all up in a truck and send them back to the city! :)
    I'm glad you're focusing on yourself, it's the best you can do!
    bubblebear likes this.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Don't be sad sweetheart. You are after missing the most important part of your day, the point that you actually DID go out and DID get things done. F what other people think, you can only control what you do. As I always remind people, your thoughts are not facts and as for that kid, he needs to grow the hell up, hopefully in time, eh :) You got what you needed done which is more than a lot of us do here lol be proud of who you are and everything you do despite having crippling anxiety. (hugs)
    bubblebear and Frances M like this.
  6. IamTetsuo

    IamTetsuo Well-Known Member

    I liked your post, it made me lol (sorry if that's wrong!). I used to have way more anxiety than I do currently. Nowadays I am happy for people to look at me all they want, I am a miracle of nature and so is everybody else (that includes everyone here BTW). I like to look at the clouds and the trees and I like to look at the people so if they like to look at me then by all means.