My apologies...

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by Zueri, Jul 4, 2007.

  1. Zueri

    Zueri Well-Known Member

    Right...I suppose this is the right place to post this.

    Anyways, one big, huge sorry to everybody. I'm sorry for the way I've been acting lately, but I really can't help it. I'm sorry if I do/say something to hurt anybody, I don't actually mean it.

    I have no idea what I'm doing any more. The past few months I've been pretending everything is OK. Now I'm resorting to substances to numb reality more heavily than I ever have before. I'm losing control of myself - senses, behavior, comprehension, everything. I know I should stop what I'm doing...but I can't.

    I just don't want to face the world any more. It's too cold...too brutal...too uncaring...I know I should simply get rid of myself, but there is still something that keeps me from doing it. I don't know whether I'm too optimistic, too proud, too arrogant, too clueless, too stupid, or too afraid to do it.

    I don't know what I am anymore. Perhaps just an empty shell that's feigning existence.

    I simply am. I don't feel. I don't think. I simply exist.

    The "me" that used to exist has all but vanished. I don't recognize my personality any more.

    Perhaps once I had potential. I may have had the capacity to create. Now...nothing.

    I promise to attempt to dispose of myself as quickly as possible. I can't set a timeline for myself though...I'm too cowardly/too lazy, I suppose.

    In the mean time, thank-you all for putting up with me.

    And once again, sorry if I unintentionally hurt anybody along the way.

    I'm just a nothing. Just a failure. Just a waste of space. I don't do anything but whine.

    Sorry.
     
  2. RainbowChaser

    RainbowChaser Well-Known Member

    :hug: You're a brilliant person, whether you believe me or not! You're just suffering badly with depression now, that's all that's changed.