It is 12:30 in the morning in the U.S. I can't sleep and I feel horrible about tonight. I was so deeply sadened that I just wanted to die. A lot of waht I said was true none the less. I want to live more than anything. I am sorry to those that were trying to help me. I was being an ass. I am trying hard to figure my life out. My parents are constantly telling me to get a job so I have two jobs this summer. They even find jobs in the newspaper and they made a list of places I might want to work. It is all very stressful. I have little money and what I do have goes to school tuition and books. I have worked my entire life to support myself. My brother gets money from my parents and has it easy. His tuition is a lot more and they want me to pay for more of my own stuff. i have been very independent my whole life. I have paid for my own cars, dates and other stuff. i don't ask for money often so when I do need extra cash they act like I am burdening them. I am scared that I will not be able to support myself after college. It is frightening to me. If it is between working and going out with people to hang out, I would work. That is all for now. I would appreciate no replies. I just wanted to share that. Thank you all for being supportive. I really do enjoy being part of a group that understands each other.