My arm is disgusting

Discussion in 'Self Harm & Substance Abuse' started by Ruby, Feb 26, 2008.

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  1. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    .. full of cuts, burns and scars. I don't bother putting anything on it to try and minimize it so I don't know why i'm complaining, it's just.. I can't seem to stop self harming. I don't really want to stop. I've been doing it for 4 years and it seems to have progressed in the sense that I have to CUT rather than scratch. I used to scratch myself with broken glass and scissors but it's now at the stage where I have to slash my arms open with knives and blades and I can't stop, or get the same effect, unless I go deep. I also burn my arms with cigarettes and hair straighteners. In moments of desperation I also bash my head against a wall and punch things.

    Anyway, I guess i'm just wondering if anyone else self harms, and likes it, but whose arm is becoming more and more scarred as a result.
     
  2. austinhp78

    austinhp78 Well-Known Member

    i'm with you here on this one. the only difference i guess is that my scars are on my legs and i started out with small cuts as opposed to scratches.
    but anyways, i think that when you cut, such as with numerous drugs, you build up a tolerance. i started out my just doing one or two little cuts at a time, three at the most, to where i am now to around 20 decent ones at a time.
    its weird how it works. i find that the first one is the worst but ever after that first cut it get progressively easier. i find that once i've started i can go on for a long time without really realizinghow much i've done.
     
  3. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    I'm the same way, Ruby..:dunno:
     
  4. taranama

    taranama Well-Known Member

    i recently freaked myself out a lot, i cut myself, but i didn't realize i was doing it. i went into the bathroom, with intentions, but between locking the door and then realizing what had happened, i had no recollection. i simply stood up (think i fell against the wall) and walked back into the room..carried on like nothing happened. its scary... my arm is very bad at the moment... ah well.. on with the show!
     
  5. allofme

    allofme Staff Alumni

    me too ...

    hugs
     
  6. ~CazzaAngel~

    ~CazzaAngel~ Staff Alumni

    I am sorry that you are going through this hun. it can be a very hard thing to stop, it gets very habit forming and addictive. I have been self harming since I was around 12, so it'd be 10 years now I've been struggling it with. You are not alone, I have several scars all over my body, though so much it's just a lot of ran together scar tissue on some of my body. if you ever feel like harming yourself and you need to talk, feel fee to contact me anytime hun, and once again, I'm sorry you are struggling, try to stay safe and take care. :hug:

    _____________

    and hugs to those of you that replied well. :grouphug:
     
  7. Hanging by a thread

    Hanging by a thread Well-Known Member

    I'm covered in scars - wish I had never started! Most of mine are on my legs so there easy to cover up - can never go swimming or sunbathing :( The ones on my arms i say r from work moving cages around!
     
  8. ggg456

    ggg456 Guest

    My arms are quite thin looking and covered with faint scars. I know when people ask me 'if I'd eaten anything' after a blood test if I faint because of those scars, or if I'm in A+E nurses stroking my scars and saying tk-tk-tk why did you do that? Although these scars are 4 years old. This year though I can't be bothered and I'm wearing short sleeves.

    I don't self harm anymore though so that's easier but I have looked at my self harm wounds in the past and felt like you Ruby :hug:.
     
  9. tintin

    tintin Guest

    i started cutting two years ago. i have now progressed to taking tablets. i have been taking tablets for about 6 month. my family dont really give a shit. they think it is all for attention and dont understand what is going on in my head.
    i just dont think i can carry on anymore. i hate myself an what i have become.
    my family hates me so is there any point carrying on.
    i just dont think i can carry on fighting.
    does anyone else feel like this?
     
  10. Beattles

    Beattles Well-Known Member

    i uhh.. i dont want to give the original poster any ideas, but even though you may really like cutting.. if your worried about how it looks, maybe try a more secluded spot? i perhaps shouldnt have said that, but its better IMO to do it and have it hidden than get more hell from other people when they see it.
    you should try and stop though
     
  11. Ruby

    Ruby Well-Known Member

    My mother called an ambulance not so long ago because I was struggling to breathe and my heart was racing. At the time we both thought that I was having a heart attack as i'd never experienced anything like it before. The rapid response paramedic arrived within minutes, followed by the ambulance and looked at my arms and turned to my mother and said, ''does she do that a lot?'' and then proceeded to talk about my mental health. It seemed so irrelevant because I hadn't called the ambulance because I was acutely suicidal or distressed. It was like they thought I was doing it for attention, yet I genuinely thought I was about to die. I later found out that it had had been a panic attack but I didn't know that at the time and I certainly wasn't doing it for attention. It's like they think that every self harmer is melodramatic.

    Edit - I have cut my legs in the past, but it didn't feel the same as cutting my arms.
     
  12. Crying All Time

    Crying All Time Well-Known Member

    My left arm is also full of scars. I cut myself everyday. Nobody knows about it.
     
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