Well, i figured i would tell the story of my attempt. This was a few months ago. anyway, i had finnally decided to go through with it. It was actually pretty impulsive, i just decided it was time and made a plan to do it the next day. So i went out and bought the necessary equipment and wrote my note the night before. now, and i still think about this, the weird part is that although i was certain that it was my last day on earth i didnt do anything special. I just ate dinner, read some of my book and dozed off. I mean, isnt that weird? It was as if it was any other day. I dont know, it seems odd to me now. but anyway, morning came and i was prepared. I drove to this nice scenic outlook and prepared to drift off for eternity. In fact, i had actually passed out and was getting close to death, when a person walked by and thought something was amiss. So this asshole thinking he's some kind of "hero" decides to pull me out of the car before the CO had finished its job. Well, you can imagine my suprise when i woke up in the hospital. It sucked. and on top of that i was exposed to it long enough to cause permanent short term memory loss. I REALLY wish he hadnt "saved" me. anyway, i wrote this to dispell peoples fantasies that it is easy or "without consequences" to kill yourself. In fact, many things can go wrong and my life has gotten even worse because of this. And ive come close to attempting twice since then. So, i just wanted to warn people about how serious suicide really is, and hopefully ive dissuaded someone from trying.
well, the reason i attempted is because im a financial and personal failure on every level. and since my attempt things have just gotten worse, which is why im tempted to try again. All it did was prove that im a failure at failing. yeah... im not well.
Of course it isn't easy--that's why 95% of suicide attempts fail. And of course it isn't without consequences--suicides go to hell. Unfortunately, your experience can just be taken as an argument to be careful, methodical, and prepared when you make your attempt. And unfortunately, those qualities are largely incompatible with the impulsivity you noted, which is common in suicides. So perhaps that's why I spend so much time thinking about and visualizing my next attempt--to increase my chances of success.
I am glad your attempt was thwarted by a concerned individual. I am not glad about the fact you have residual effects from the attempt. You are right, attempts are a serious thung, whether they are successful or not, they both have consequences. I hope you are able to find the reasons you need to live rather than risk another attempt. Please stay safe. :hug:
I don't see how you can say this. In the United States alone there are approximately 30,000 successful suicides a year. This would mean 600,000 or so annual suicide attempts in the USA alone. Granted, that is only .002 of the population, but that still seems rather on the high side. Not even the Catholic Church accepts such an idea any longer, that suicides are necesarily going to hell. Whether this is due to the perversion of Catholicism post-Vatican II (as I once thought) or represents an honest attempt to show mercy, I now have no idea. It would appear that a Kurt Cobain would be in a lot of trouble, though I'm not so sure to what extent he intended to set an example, but that for the average confused, depressed and perhaps irrational person a measure of mercy may in fact exist. Assuming, of course, Catholicism has the right of the matter. Which I grant I personally no longer think it does, but I also think that your interpretation is far from the only one. And once upon a time Catholicism took a very hard line on suicide, indeed.
So are you saying then that it would have just been much better if it had been succesful and this person hadn't 'saved' you in their eyes?
