My attempts

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by evilperson, Jun 26, 2009.

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  1. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    I'm not like any of you guys, my attempts were sissy attempts. Two attempts really. Not anyting serious. Just overdosing. First time I took paracetamol and mixed it up with other things. I hadn't researched it, I just couldn't find any sleeping pills so I took all the pills in my house. I didn't want to die, I just needed to leave the DV situation I was in.
    Then I got high. I know it's not supposed to make you do that but I started going really relaxed and almost high. I didn't do the things I was supposed to I wasn't obedient so I started getting bashed. Because I wasn't researched I thought it would take sooner to kill me and since I was trying to commit SUICIDE, NOT get murdered, I found a phone and called an ambulance on myself. Basically I saved myself, silly.
    The second time was very unplanned as well. I was having severe flashbacks for three days and wasn't sure where I was and my first suicide kept springing to mind. So I overdosed on paracetomol again (why? I knew the danger and I knew it wouldn't work) and a few other pills. I think I was replaying the scenario rather than attempting to kill myself. Then I told my friend right in the middle of my pills/booze fest what I was doing and he called an ambulance on me.

    Apparently both times my paracetamol levels were very high. But I was a sissy and didn't plan anything. Sometimes I just have enough:mortdesinos:.
  2. shades

    shades Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry that you are feeling so much pain that you acted as you did. The word 'sissy' does not apply. There are people here who have been much closer to death than you have and some that have not been as close.

    I am glad that you didn't take enough to kill yourself, and that you called the ambulance.

    We are all here hoping to get advice and give it if possible and share our experiences. I came here looking for a quick method that would not injure anyone else. Instead I found a group of amazing people who were, and are hurting as much as I am.

    I'm glad you're with us and hope that you find some solace here, then move on to live a long and prosperous life.
  3. snowraven

    snowraven Well-Known Member

    The fact you are still here and are still fighting these dark thoughts shows you are not a sissy. Be strong and keep fighting and if there are times you don't feel strong enough thenallow the forum to give you the help and support you need. I take things very much day by day and know that each day I get through is a victory.Without SF I wouldn't have made it this far. Best wishes.
  4. evilperson

    evilperson Well-Known Member

    Thank you for replying :) . Sorry have being a bit slack in replying to replies. But it means a lot to me that people heard it.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter


    You're not a sissy. You are still here and fighting this.That proves you're strong and courageous ,I'm glad you are still here :)
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