My Baby Boy Luke Daniel Born Sleeping @ 38 Weeks

[Fire_N_Ice]

All my life I've had "mental health" issues but after giving birth to my baby boy who had already died due to an umbilical cord accident earlier this year I cannot seem to move on. I think about him constantly, he was so cute and adorable. He should be here right now with his family. I think I have post traumatic stress disorder...I can't get images out of my mind of him. I want to be with my baby...

 

[Speedy]

:hug: R.I.P. Luke

You are in my thoughts. Have you thought about talking to someone IRL about how you think you have PTSD?

And, lest I forget, welcome to the forums here! Take care.

 

[total eclipse]

you are suffering post partum depression hun you are suffering from a great loss you need therapy to help you grieve okay please get some hun hugs

 

[Fire_N_Ice]

Thank you, I don't have any health insurance right now so I can't see the physcologist (sp?) I was seeing. My boyfriend (baby's dad) is processing his death differently and we are not together. I feel like such a "loser" b/c I am 30 and live w my mom...I have 3 children from a previous marriage and their dad has custody of them. I do see them every week and talk to them every day. They are what keeps me going. I promised my family after my suicide attempt last year I would not to that to them again...but it is very hard not to think about :-(

 

[takencontrol]

words will never be enough to comfort you in what you are going through. i have a friend who recently went through the same thing, its devastating. i just hope you will find your way through the pain. we are all here for you, to support and comfort you. :hug:

 

[Fire_N_Ice]

It was so horrible giving birth to a full term baby you know had already died. He didn't deserive that. He was so perfect and it was an umbilical cord accident. I had to deliver him and his poor little skin was peeling, it was horrible. I could still tell he was so beautiful (and BIG...9 lbs 7oz!) I feel like he died because I am a bad person. I want to be with him but I can't give up b/c my other children need me...but I can't even take proper care of them b/c they live with their father (my ex-husband). I have borderline personality disorder and every day I am in horrible mental and emotional pain. I have had two serious (intensive care unit at the hospital) suicide attempts and I promised I would never do that again...

 

[takencontrol]

im so sorry :hug: that doesnt seem enough. please know that everyone here is here for you and will do everything they can to help. :hug:

 

[Joshua2803]

we all react diffrently to the death of a loved one, at times it can take a little longer to get goin especially with the death of a child. the process can not be rushed so dont feel compelled to meet a deadline.

 

[Tea_at_Four]

Oh, my dear... What a heartbreak. Years ago a friend lived through losing her baby in a similar event. She was put in touch with a group called Compassionate Friends, which is a support group for parents who are grieving a child. Talking or typing to people who really get what you are going through can help you find your way. Take care.

thecompassionatefriendsfw.com/ is the homepage.