My best friend committed suicide because of me.

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by xCraigeX, Nov 29, 2007.

  1. xCraigeX

    xCraigeX Member

    I have always been bullied - throughtout primary school and secondary school still - i am always bullied. Probably because i'm different. I have ginger hair, i listen to rock music and i don't wear tracksuits. This makes me an outcast.

    Anyway, i met a friend 2 years ago. His name was william - he stuck up for me as i was being insulted by a few other students. Subsequently, he too then began to get bullied himself. It turned out that he coulden't handle the bullying as he was not used to it. 1 year ago he commited suicide. He hung himself in his room - leaving a suicide note which i was not allowed to read. Apparently, it said he was sorry to me and that was all.

    I have had enough of everything. There really is very little to live for - and the anniversary of his death made me have suicidal thoughts again - hence why i searched up this forum. I have no-one to turn

    think what you like - i wont be surprised if im bullied in this forum too, but it's what i deserve i guess. I am a complete waste of space.
  2. kath

    kath Well-Known Member

    Hey welcome to the site.There are many nice people here and im glad you found us.i really feel for you in your situation.It was by no means your fault that your friend felt the need to take his own life and unfortunately succeeded.He may have felt it was his only option but it was his decision.And you certainly in no way contributed to that and in fact from what you say in your post about him saying sorry to you in the note etc it sounds like actually he thought very highly of you and that you were worth much to him.It is just so so sad that you both had to put up with the terrible thing of bullying.That must have hurt you both so much.i think you can find friends here and there are many nice,helpful people.They have helped me a lot and put up with a lot from me.Please give them a chance to be your friends too.From the people i have met here you certainly wont be bullied in any way,shape or form but if you are please take the issue to the staff as this is not allowed here and we try and help each other.I am here if you want talk some more and im sure so are many others.Thank you for being so brave and talking about your experiences.

    Take care
  3. Spearmint

    Spearmint Well-Known Member

    Hi, welcome to SF. I'm hoping you'll find the support you're looking for here. Anyways. It sounds like you had a really good friend, and I'm sorry to hear about his death, but it was by no means your fault. You really shouldn't blame yourself, it'll just make you feel worse. He might have felt like he had no other option but to commit suicide..You won't be bullied on this site, and you aren't a waste of space, you deserve support like everyone else..Take care. :hug:
  4. Panther

    Panther Well-Known Member

    hi mate, sorry to hear about your friend. Hope you find what you need.
  5. xXWhateverItTakesXx

    xXWhateverItTakesXx Forum Buddy

    I'm so sorry about your friend, hun :hug:

    It's wasn't your fault sweetie, you must remember that. You are not a waste of space, keep living for him and show him you are strong

    No-one will bully you here, and you don't deserve it, no one here does :hug:

    Take care <3
  6. Light_In_The_Dark

    Light_In_The_Dark Well-Known Member

    Im sorry to hear that. I have friend who got blamed for suicide of his classmate. Bullying is the worst thing anybody can do. And everything begins at school... (school sucks!).
  7. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    :hug: I'm sorry to read about your friend. First and foremost I would like to say it is NOT your fault.

    1) William's good nature and kind soul made him want to be a friend to you and to stand up for you - you didn't force him.
    2) You cannot blame yourself for him being bullied, it's the bullies fault - no one elses!
    3) Ultimately, suicide was his decision and unfortunately it was the option he decided to choose.

    You cannot blame yourself. You are torturing yourself because of something that was in NO WAY your fault. Please believe it, because it's true.

    You're not going to get bullied here either, you're more than welcome to post your feelings or PM me. We're here for you. :hug:
  8. xCraigeX

    xCraigeX Member

    thank you so much everyone. thank you so much.
  9. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    We will not bully you here. We're here to support, not tear down. I m glad you came here and sorry to hear about your friend. Some people are mean beyond all description. PLease come here to vent and make friends. We are here to hold you up when you can't stand on your own. love to you...

  10. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    I am sorry to hear of your friends choice. Bullying is a problem all over. It happens in schools, in the workplace, within families, just about everywhere people gather. The fact that your friend took his life was not your fault. the choice was his and his alone. It is sad to think that for some people, the only way they can feel good about themselves is to make others suffer. Someday those bullies will run into someone bigger, meaner, and tougher than they are. I only hope they are strong enough to survive it. Then they can deal with the same mental anguish they put others through. :hug:
  11. Fishman

    Fishman Guest

    Hey gigner hair rocks! Don't worry about other people its how you see yourself that counts. You sound ok to me.
  12. __Rawr.Tigga

    __Rawr.Tigga Well-Known Member

    Heyy hun.

    You won't get bullied here I promise. Pinky swear :smile:

    It wasn't your fault love. Don't think that ok?

    And btw, I personally LOVE ginger hair and obviously rock music :tongue:

    Take care and keep strong,