My best friend is on the verge of killing herself

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sk1zz0t, Jan 2, 2011.

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  1. sk1zz0t

    sk1zz0t New Member

    I'm almost 100% certain I am the only person/thing keeping her from going through with it. This person has attempted suicide once and is definitely not messing around about it. She is literally on the verge of killing herself. She has no self esteem, has plenty of friends but refuses to acknowledge they're her friends for some reasons that I'm not really quite sure of (and thus thinks she has no friends), has no job, no school, and thinks she has no intelligence/skills/thinks she is incapable of acquiring skills/whatever.

    I show her unending support, constantly remind her that everything is going to be ok, things will change, she's an important person, it doesn't seem like it but trust me things change and you will make it through this.. etc. I've spent countless hours doing the same routine with her sobbing and incoherently saying morbid things, me being saying kind things, trying to be helpful, just trying and trying and trying to help and be as nice as I possibly can, and it usually works - when she's ok, she's totally happy and functions normally and you would never guess this person tried to kill herself in the past 3 months.

    She's acknowledged that doing nothing with her life is a big (or the entire) contributor to her depression, but uses her social anxieties or other issues as an excuse to basically do nothing all day every day. She has an excuse for pretty much everything, and whether some of them are valid or not, she has an inherent defeatist attitude where she's basically just given up and either can't or just has no will to get better at this point.

    Her parents know about it, and she's on antidepressants and has a therapist and whatever else, but it's been this way for months. I have personally spoken with her parents and let them know my side of it because I'm sure we don't have exactly matching stories about what her problems are and whatever else, and I've spent dozens and dozens of hours "working" with her individually to try to improve the situation. It's like pressing a reset button every week or two weeks or month or whatever the random time frame happens to be. Things are fine, and them boom, big depression explosion where I spend days worrying that one of my best friends is going to be dead in the morning. When she was in the hospital from the first suicide attempt I probably cried harder than I ever have in my life.

    I have literally no idea where to go from here. I feel like I'm the only person that can help, but at the same time I don't think there's anything more I CAN do.
  2. Juliaa

    Juliaa Well-Known Member

    That's fantastic that you're there for her. There really is nothing more you can do, but keep reassuring her that you're there for her.
    But if it's been months and the antidepressants don't seem to be working, maybe she should try and taking new ones, or an addition to them. That can definitely help.
    Just keep on being her friend right now. Because she needs you. :hug:
  3. bestwishes

    bestwishes Member

    wow your friend sound alot like me.......and I have given up...sry
  4. mirrodin

    mirrodin New Member

    You're in such a difficult position. You must feel so drained. And perhaps quite frustrated with your friend?

    What can you do? You've done everything any supportive friend would do. Is there anything else you could do? What do you think you could do that would change the situation?

    Your friend is on antidepressants but they dont seem to be working. They should have the effect of moderating her mood. So she needs to change her, today, I think thats the first most critical move. She has a is that working for her? What does she get from it? If her counsellor knew she was suicidal she would have to arrange for her to be hospitalized.

    If you think she really is a risk to herself then you must contact social services. You cant watch her 24hrs a day.

    You love your friend deeply. That much is obvious from what you've told us. When you give up she'll have no one. Just keep doing what you're doing.

  5. ~Young-Violet~

    ~Young-Violet~ Banned Member


    I'm sorry to hear about your friend, you sound like a good friend and are trying your best to support her. It looks like you are highly oried about your friend please hold on in there!

    Does your friend confide in her therapist well? Could you go with her to your Dr and speak to her and her Dr? If she has a friend she may be able to recieve more help and may be able to be more honest with her feelings very best wishes

    Young Violet
  6. Fitzy

    Fitzy Well-Known Member

    You are a good friend but don't lose sight of your own need for emotional support. SF will offer you space to explore some of your feelings about being a helper - do you have any other outlets?
  7. Dave_N

    Dave_N Banned Member

    Maybe your friend should create an account here on SF too for some additional support? You're a great friend for caring so much. :hug:
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