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My best friend

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by ali-wali, Oct 30, 2010.

  1. ali-wali

    ali-wali Well-Known Member

    I miss him so much, he was 17 when he died, his girlfriend wouldn't take him back after he ended their relationship. I was with my new boyfriend in his car meeting up with friends when my friend rang me and said paul had killed himself, I still can't describe how I felt, I didn't believe her at first i just didn't expect it at all, the next day I went to put some flowers on a tree near the train tracks, it was unreal, the shock didn't hit me until then. At first I was so angry at his girlfriend, he told her how low he felt and what he planned to do but she assumed he was saying it to get her back. His family hated her so much, and then i realised how pathetic and cruel i had been to blame her. His funeral was my first funeral and I'd hoped to be my last. atleast 300 people turned up and everybody sang 500 miles by the proclaimers his favourite song. I was so sad to listen to the stories people read out and angry that there wouldn't be anymore, his younger sister and dad sang stand by me and it was beautiful. He was the funniest person I will ever meet, funny thing is I first met him when we got put in a seating plan at school, i was so annoyed for them to put with him! the class clown! I'm very glad they did now as I got the chance to meet and become best friends with one of the most amazing people in the world! I have our prom picture framed in my room and everytime i look at it the shock hits me all over again. I got very drunk at his wake. nearly the end of the night and my mum rang me to tell me to come home, my grandad had died. It's safe to say I had the worst month of my life. And I'm still trying to recover from it now. Since this has happened i've become detached from all my close friends, which is the opposite of what you should do in a situation like this. R.I.P paul 17 Forever. xxxxx
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    sorry you lost your best friend so young iwould think he would want you to laugh and be happy like he once was He would want you to have lots of friends too. :console::console::console:
  3. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry Alice for the loss of your dear friend...:pinkrose:
  4. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I understand being detached from ppl when you loose someone close...it is difficult to be vunerable when it hurts so much...try to let ppl in because this is where you can use the support...sorry for your loss...big hugs, J
  5. weeble

    weeble Active Member

    Hi, I lost a very good friend to suicide just over a year ago. At first we all seemed to drift apart but then we all came back together realising that when our beautiful friend Em died, she must of felt very alone so we vowed to be there for each other no matter what. Even now when am in the deepest of despair I know that my friends out there will support me and are there for me. There are special ties that bound us all together. I hope you find this with your friends. x x x