my best friend

[ero]

Two years ago, my best friend dave asked me out. i had really like him for a long time. I had been his support and his life line in a life that had been horrible to him. his parents were abusive and he wasnt living at home because it was so bad. he had attempted multiple times and i stopped him every time. Then, two days after he asked me out it happened. the unthinkable. it still hurts to think about it. He took out a gun, and right infront of me he shot himself. the two year anniversery is in two weeks and im more depressed than ever. i dont know what to do with myself... i cant be alone. i get afraid. but ive been told its good to talk about it, so thanks for listening, anyone out there.

 

[Allo..]

Hey.. Thats terrible, and must hurt so much. It is good to talk about it and this forum is a great place to do that. Do you blame yourself for any of it? Do you think ther was a specific reason?

Take care hun, welcome to the forum and i hope you find the support you need x

- feel free to pm me anytime -

 

[Syd]

I can tell you're a strong and intelligent person by how you're handling this. You're going to need all the support you can get to heal, but you're definitely not alone here. Feel free to discuss what you're going through, either here or in pm. I'd like to understand the situation, see what others here have to say on the subject, and see how everything progresses for you and your friend's family. You have my total support and best wishes for full recovery.

 

[-A BlackStreet-]

a big ((((hug)))) to you ero. anniversay dates sux. sorry to hear about your best friend. whoever told you it is good to talk about it is right. keeping all your emotions locked up inside of you just makes the pain greater. you have a family here that understands what you are going through. your wound is still new it is hard to tell you that the pain will ease as time goes on. remember the good times with him. try to put a smile on your face with throughts and time of happiness instead of saddness you had with him. it is hard to do. i know my best friend killed herself infront of me to a drug overdose of lethal dose of heroin.

please kind that we are here for you. if you need to talk feel free to talk with me. i am open to conversation. i am always online.

 

[Terry]

There's usually an element of anger to a suicide and maybe that's why he did it front of you.

Not saying he was angry at you, possibly himself and the world. Whatever, to take his life in front of you was a very angry gesture and (don't want to upset u here) rather cruel.

Welcome to the forum and feel free to let it all out if and when u need to, we have broad shoulders.

 

[ero]

most of the time im just really pissed off at him. he asked me out and then two days later killed himself infront of me... why would he do something like that to me?

but then, he felt like he had nothing to live for. all he had was his music... he was really good at the guitar, but getting into the music scene is so hard. i think he felt like a burden to all the people all around him. he bout me this beautiful necklace the day before he died. i still have it, but it hurts too much to wear it.

 

[consciousinsane]

when we get depressed and suicidal our thoughts are usually twisted around and irrational. So I think we need to look at this from his point of view. Perhaps he had loved you all this time. You were the only thing holding him in this world. Then he got even more depressed and knew it was time for him to go. He felt the most comfort being around you. he must have been scared to be alone, so he confessed his love to you by asking you out and buying that necklace. At the end, he went to a place that he felt safe and secure to end his life on a positive note, and that is to be along side the one he loved.

At least that's how I see this situation from what you have said.