Some people spend there 15th birthday getting shitfaced. Some spend it with there family and friends. I, however, spend my 15th birthday sitting in my living room by myself , drinking a chocolate shake from mcdondalds, and watching The Used on TV. Pathetic? I think so. Nobody has called, nobody has even said anything online to me about it. =/. Not even a happy birthday comment on myspace. Needless to say it`s making me feel like shit. I didn`t get anything for my birthday, It`s my own fault, really, I told my mom and dad not to get me anything but it`s making me really depressed. Last night before I went to bed I cut myself really deep. I could have filled up an enitre cup with blood. It bled all the way through the night and for about 3 hours after I got up. It just stopped bleeding a few hours ago. I dunno. It did make me feel a hell of a lot better though. I dunno. I talked to one of my bestfriends on the phone a few hours ago, she just kept going on and on about how amazing some movie was or some shit like that. not even a happy birthday. She didn`t even know that it was my birthday. I thought this kind of stuff only happned in movies. I guess not. There is a couple outside of my house screaming at eachother. It`s making me feel even worse. I don`t know why. Cutting is getting really bad again. I don`t exactly know why I`m posting this. I cried all day today and of couse every single time my mom tried talking to me, I pushed her away. I yelled and screamed and all that good stuff. Then I felt even worse for doing that, she obviously felt worse because she took some more pills and locked her happy ass in her room and slept. My dad is at work 247. My little brother isn`t even home. Jeez. I don`t know. I`m done typing. and If you read all of this then wow. I love you.