my "bf" + brothers friend

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by One Dagger, Oct 10, 2008.

  1. One Dagger

    One Dagger Member

    Im not usually one to speak about my relationships but this time i think i could do with some opinions..

    My boyfriend and i met online, we live about 2 hours away, and we DO love eachother.. so much so that feeling is overwhelming. He is not allowed round my house to stay anymore as my dad wont let him stay due to being jobless and i have had BIG problems with people off the net before (thats why im here) and my dad's just looking out for me but..

    Whenever my boyfriend is back home (ive not seen him for nearly 2 weeks now) he barely stays in contact with me.. If i start a conversation with him hes not really interested. He has commitments online, and is working towards some important goals.. so i can understand him being busy, and multi-tasking is not in his vocabulary.

    Its just in his lack of contact with me ive ended up chatting to one of my brothers friends who im quite sure is interested in me, we get along fine and he offered to drive me to something in london this month as he has worked around there and knows his way (i had asked my boyfriend but i know he wont even remember) and i said... ok i guess.
    I havnt told this other guy i have a boyfriend, but at the moment he doesn't even act like one. My bf knows im going through a lot and doesn't even check up on me..

    Is it wrong that i accept my brothers friends offer, and his company?

    There are a lot of things i can't say but we have been through a lot together, and my bf also has issues.. So i find it hard to understand what hes doing. Ive told him before that he neglects me when he's home and last time he apologised and accepted he had been doing it again, but hes still doing it.
  2. HappyAZaClaM

    HappyAZaClaM Guest

    I wish someone who knows more about this stuff would answer your
    post. I really don't know. there's nothing wrong with accepting a ride
    with a guy or being friends with a guy, who is just a friend of your

    actually, it sounds like you know him about as well as your boyfriend.
    boyfriends aint suppose to negklect ya for too long. it's a good way
    of becoming an EX boyfirend :)

    see? I told ya I don't know about this stuff. that's just my first
    kneejerk, from the hip reaction. no big deal. ask your brother and make
    sure this other guy aint a creep.

    oh, reason I said I wish someone else would answer is becqause I hate to
    see a post out there unanswered, but I also felt I might not havbe the
    best perspective on thses things. I hope it works out ok
  3. shadowheart

    shadowheart Well-Known Member

    Hey, i agree with ^^^

    a boyfriend should not ignore you at any point....and if you made him aware of it....but is simply doing it again.....he probs wont change.

    i think you should give your brothers friend a shot. being in a close relationship can be much more rewarding than being with someone you havnt seein in 2 years....

    but, there is also NOTHING wrong with just being friends with him....maybe he will prove to e someone supportive where your current boyfriend is not....

    hope this helped...

    ill be thinking of you
  4. One Dagger

    One Dagger Member

    Thanks guys, i spoke to my bf last night and got kinda upset.. He says he doesn't talk to me so much online because he feels its not good enough to speak to me online, i believe him and to an extent i agree but theres not alot we can do.

    Like i said hes got a strange way of thinking, never thinks he is wrong either which doesn't help our talks about the relationship.. I just know he's the one for me, and he knows it too, we both just have some stupidly crazy issues to deal with..
    Im not really into my brothers friend, i was only talking to him due to neglect from my bf, i dont feel anyone out there can compare to my bf,..

    you know when you have a certain person you compare everyone else to.
    He is that person for me, hes hard to beat.

    We have an unusual relationship so and its not really one other people can help me with so i guess i'll figure something out. Thanks alot
  5. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I think thew fact that he doesn't check up when he knows you're going through a lot is a very big warning flag.

    What kind of issues have you had with people on the net if you don't mind me asking?
  6. stevtomato

    stevtomato Member

    Well, a boyfriend should not ignore your or pretend as if you does not exist.

    That happened to me once. I'm not proud at all of what I did. But there was once when I'm in a relationship with this girl. But after a while I just started to lose interest and started ignoring her. I couldn't tell her I want to break up, because she thought I still liked her. So I just started ignoring her, until she found out and asked me if I still liked her. Which is when I told her, it wasn't good, her group of friends hated me for that (makes sense, I deserved it).

    I know it mightn't be the same, but that's just my situation. I hope you'll make a good choice :D
  7. flayflow

    flayflow Well-Known Member

    he's being petty
  8. One Dagger

    One Dagger Member

    I dont mean to bring up an old(ish .. hardly) thread but as its mine.. ya know..

    Just an update on the previous situation, Me and my bf split, (joint decision) only a week after i posted this thread. And im now with.. my brothers "friend" who im now calling my bf, and i honestly am very happy. Hes made an awful lot of difference to me these past few weeks, hense less activity on here..
    I still have crazy problems but he softens the blow a great deal, and is giving me the kind of relationship and support i need. Ive started doing things i found difficalt before, things way out of my comfort zone, and i have more confidence too.
    I feel very lucky

    I hope everyone out there can look through their rough times and truely appreciate the people who make them want to stick around despite life altering situations.
    There will be times i will disagree with that statement but right now i believe in it :)

    Thanks for the time guys