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My birthday is approaching, and I fell like sh**

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Sil, Apr 8, 2007.

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  1. Sil

    Sil Well-Known Member

    I hate birthdays. Mine birthdays. They remember you that another useless year have passed, another year wasted. God, I feel like I never felt before. Every day is worse. I wish some day something will change, something will happen to make things go better, but as days pass by, they're always the same. Who am I kidding. I will live my life like this, alone, don't know if I can cope another year like those lived until now. How am I supposed to change things? I can barely talk to people, can't cross eyes with a girl without thinking that I will never hold one. How am i supposed to be happy on my birthday? "Happy birthday! It's your birthday!". just shut up. What did I do? It's the same old story. Noone is gonna change things for me. I'm the only who can change. Since I can't... I'm unhopeful. I can't talk to people, especially girls, without they notice what a jerk I am, just because I behave different from them. They see like a negative thing a good thing indeed nowdays. I've got a few friends, they all have a girlfriend and say "how long does take to you to make one?" "Where's yours?" Like it's easy? Why can't it be a natural thing like for all the other people?
    Now It's been over a year I didn't buy stuff for myself. I think what did I do to deserve a new pair of jeans or a cd? Whenever I pass an exam at the university I say to myself I did good and it's time to buy myself something or go out with friends, but then I think, what's exam? That's what I'm supposed to do, why should I give myself a prize? I'm tired people....
  2. Nosmanic

    Nosmanic Active Member

    I know how it is my birthday is coming up too and it make me feel bad.

    But try to feel good about doing well on tests:smile:. I never did well buy something for your self and when you buy it tell yourself I got it because I did well on that test. And when you look at it think I got that because I did well.:smile:

    Doing well in school is an accomplishment in any degree. The fact that you go to school is what you're supposed to do. Your grade is your int times hard work FEEL GOOD I command it.

    About your friends:dry: Tell them to "f- off" or better yet tell their girlfriends in private that you "havn't found someone that makes you feel special" and next time they bring it up she'll be on your side I know I'm evil. And don't worry about having a girlfriend their overrated:laugh:

    I'm not usually this positive. pm if you want to I like someone to talk to also
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 9, 2007
  3. Sil

    Sil Well-Known Member

    Thanks, that cheers me up a bit:smile:
  4. Lucie

    Lucie Well-Known Member

    Your lucky to have friends ^^ alot of people don't have any, and your lucky to be at uni working towards a future.

    And about the girlfriend thing, I've had alot of male friends who were depressed about having no girl, saying they will never find one. They always did in the end and with the new girl they turn into assholes and foget the people who gave them support.

    It will happen, u will find one eventually.
  5. Zurkhardo

    Zurkhardo Well-Known Member

    At least your striving for a better future! Your birthday marks another year in which you've accomplished a lot in your life, another year closer to being something, to finding someone. Besides, chicks dig guys who have futures and work hard ;)
  6. Sil

    Sil Well-Known Member

    I'm not at the university for a better future. I mean, I hope, but I went to the university just because otherwise I would feel even a bigger loser... Once I finish, I don't know what to do, I don't wanna work just to be like those people who work for an entire life with no purpose. I'm scared of my future. i guess everyone is, but mine is being built on very uncertain foundations. Don't wanna spend another year hoping that something will change. It's not just for the girls, is that all the pain I have could be more bearable with someone you can speak to... I never speak with my friends of this. My parents don't even know what I'm doing at university... besides, they think I'm gay, so... no need to talk with them...
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