my boyfriend doesnt know wont kill us...will it?

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Lilly, May 16, 2010.

  1. Lilly

    Lilly Well-Known Member

    I'm with this guy, and he's really great. I really love him, and I think that besides the fact that I annoy him with my constant tnking im fat (I am he just doenst see it) he really loves me to. I think that we could be the perfect couple, together gorever, get married, have kids, after we are done school of course, get a big house, a puppy, everything. Ig only there wasnt that one thing he doesnt know....and i think its the real reason that we fight like, all the time about nothing.....some people know...sort of....but......sometimes IM not even sure about...but, i cant get it out of my mind.....and....sometimes I kind of wish that I
    ok. in order to explain myself...i guess ill have to tell yuu what im talking about...what am i afraid of anyways....not like anyone will read this...right?? and besides, theres nothing wrong with there??
    ok, here it goes.
    I like girls.
    im with this amazing guy, and id rather be with a girl...and i WAS with a girl before, and everyone like...judged me...and looked at us, and made comments, and i even got in trouble for being with her. thats not why it ended with her tho, and i DONT want to be back with her, i just...dont really wanna be with a guy.......but like i do..i mean, my bf is so great, and nice, and wonderful...........but....then i find myself thinking of how our relationship could improve so much if i was just with a female instead.........but then no one ELSE would like grandma....and my daddy...and a lot of other people i love............and this Guy im with IS really great, and i dont want us to break up....its just that one small problem...that he doesnt know about......ya.............there we ima go now that im done with that ramble .
    i REALLY hope my arents never come on this site :S
  2. Memorical

    Memorical Member

    Hey Lilly. :)

    I'm not an expertise with dealing with these situations, but in my opinion doubts are normal in a relationship, but most people will be able to get past them and start to wonder how they felt this way before. The best way to sort this out is to talk to your boyfriend about what you feel could do with improving. Don't tell him "because a girl wouldn't/would do that", just suggest to him what you'd like and tell him when you don't like things. Just make sure not to do it too much, else he'll start to feel upset about not being able to satisfy you completely.

    However, if you really do feel like a girl is better than a guy, and you're starting to lose your love for your boyfriend (but it definitely doesn't sound like it) because of it, then I'm afraid to say that there's nothing you can do about your feelings. But from what your situation seems, it really doesn't sound like that'd happen. Despite your problem you really seem to be in a brilliant relationship. :)

    PM me if you need to talk. ^^ *huggles*

  3. cult logic

    cult logic Staff Alumni

    If you're a lesbian and just with a guy because you don't want judgment, not only will you be unhappy, but that is unfair and cruel to him.

    I've seen tons of stories with gay men who marry women, then however many years later despite caring for their spouse they have to leave them because they just can't take it anymore.

    I guess all I'm trying to say is keep what's fair to him in mind...
  4. Pow

    Pow Well-Known Member

    Mh, I think you need to get over the fact people are judging you. It's YOUR relationship not theirs.
    You could always stay friends with the guy if you don't want to go out with him. It seems to me you like him in a friend kind of way.
    If you feel being with a girl is what you truely want, then I think you should follow what your really think. You don't want to spend the rest of your life pretending. And if people judge? So what, no one else matters, they don't mean a thing in your life, so let them.
  5. The Scream

    The Scream Well-Known Member


    if you are a lesbian and you get out of the closet and everyone knows it, at first people might behave strange, but after a while you'll notice you'll start to hang out with other gay people and stuff and then you don't even care what the others say, if you start to open up, you'll find more people like yourself. =]

    i know from experience, i grew up in a small town, i knew i was gay but i shut my mouth till i moved out of my parents house and started living in a city, im openly lesbian and 75% of my friends aren't totally straight and the other 25% don't mind a thing.

    and unfortunately people do look strange when i walk with my girlfriend, but hey, people always find something to judge.
  6. Prinnctopher's Belt

    Prinnctopher's Belt Antiquities Friend SF Supporter

    Shit won't last. Tell him that you're a lesbian and actually desire to be with a woman, and stop dragging this poor guy along just for the thrill, making him believe that you actually love and are IN love with him. Don't be that person... When you build up the courage, tell him in the most understanding way that you can, and leave him alone for someone who actually desires to be with and love him forever. Trust me... you don't want him, someone else does. It's not only best for him in the long run, it's best for you too because you won't have to continue living a lie.
  7. Viro

    Viro Well-Known Member

    I don't think it's really fair to string him along. The beard always gets hurt.

    He sounds like a great guy who would remain a close friend if you did tell him.