I met my b/f 8 years ago. He told me he had Agoraphobia, severe panic disorder and depression. At the time I didn't really understand what Agoraphobia was only that he couldn't go anywhere far from his home and when he did he had severe panic attacks. Over the months I fell in love with him and his problem didn't seem to bother me and I figured I could deal with it. It's been 8 years of HELL. I'm 46 now and I have basically become a hermit along with him. All my life I have suffered from Borderline Personality Disorder, Severe Depression and PTSD. Everyday is a struggle to go on, he also has severe depression and when we both are depressed and thinking of suicide it become unbearable. I want to do more with my life then just sit in the house and think of killing myself. BUT I CAN'T. He can't go but only 500 feet from our house. He's able to work only because the McDonald's is just down the street. He only makes enough to pay child support and pay a little of our bills. If he loses this job were screwed because he's not able to make it anywhere else to get a job. On Holidays (ie: Thanksgiving, Christmas) he can't go to his family or my family's house so we sit at home alone or I go by myself while he stays home. We never go anywhere. He has a fear of cars and refuses to get in them so even if he got better we couldn't go anywhere anyways. If we need anything from the stores like groceries, etc. I do it all by myself. I'm so tired of being by myself when I go out, I want and NEED to be with someone. I don't want to leave him because I do love him, but I feel if I continue to stay I'm going to die. We've tried to get mental help for him through NAMI and our local Mental Health people but NO ONE WILL COME TO HIM. They don't understand that he CAN'T GO TO THEM. He's taking my depression medication to help him so he's no so manic, but that also means that I'm not taking it for me. I lie to my physcologist telling them that I'm taking my meds just so I can continue to get them for him. I know it's against the law but he needs them more then I do. I'm so lost and don't know what to do. He's told me that if I leave him he will die. Financially we can't live without each other but emotionally we can't live with each other. Can someone please help me. Any suggestions??????