My Boyfriend Has PTSD

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by Glara, Jan 22, 2015.

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  1. Glara

    Glara Member

    My boyfriend has ptsd. Long story about our past. We are in our 50s, dated in our 20s and reconnected,

    Basically he has kind of broken it off. He didn't come right out and say it, but that's what happened. He's in a withdrawal phase, which is common with ptsd. He had been telling me how dark and depressed he is and how is going to snap. He is suicidal. He is in therapy.

    So I'm deeply depressed now as well. I've become sick, developed high blood pressure and heart rate and meds aren't working.

    Emotionally I'm a wreck. I guess I want to know if he thinks about me at all when he's like this. He's on Facebook and I wonder if he looks at my profile to see what I'm up to, even though he shut me out. Does he ever think about me? I'm worried and so, so sad.

    I struggle to get through each day. Can't wait to get home and into pjs. Everything is an effort.
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, stay strong and please do not worry. Dealing with relationships can be mentally straining but you are just as important.

    It's good posted here as it helps you to get through the day. Just relax now with something you like doing and try to get some sleep. It's about getting through each day and being supportive of your boyfriend. Remember you are there for your boyfriend but you have to be nice to yourself at the some stage.

    Please remain focused and tomorrow is a new day. Keep posting here for the support you deserve.

    Sweet dreams and be safe.
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 22, 2015
  3. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I can't speak for what your boyfriend thinks about when he is withdrawn due to PTSD. I can say that when I am, I am thinking about the people that matter to me a lot- all the time. That is why I am withdrawn because I am convinced I am not good for them and it is not good for them to be around me then. It may or may not be true, but withdrawing does not mean I am not thinking of family and loved ones, it is because I am (in my mind).
  4. Glara

    Glara Member

    @NYJmpMaster if you push someone away or more or less break up with them what are you thinking about them?

    Please don't go on with this if it's going to trigger you.

    It's just hard to understand. He didn't actually day it's over, but he thanked me for my support, he thinks he's not coming out of this one, and said he feels safer living alone. I live in another state, we didn't have plans to move in together. I haven't heard from him since. I feel like he didn't want to actually say we are finished, but he was saying it.

    I told him I'm here if he needs me.
  5. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hello Glara, I hope you are home in your pjs now. I feel sorry for you and the situation you are going through. Is he the type of person that would take help or advice if he was given it? I understand the withdrawal from everything (I have PTSD too), I hope he comes out of this phase in his illness soon for both of ye're sakes. Please keep us updated and keep in mind that YOU need support also while going through this and we are here fore you.

    EDIT: Just saw your later post...maybe he just needs some time alone right now which is why he didn't say anything...I hope it all works out well for you and him.
  6. NYJmpMaster

    NYJmpMaster Have a question? Message Me Staff Member Forum Owner ADMIN

    I think I am doing the right thing when i try to distance myself because I am convinced at times that people would be better off without me. I did not claim it makes sense or is true, but that is what I am thinking; and when I start to think more rationally I understand that is not an actuality, it is just a feeling.
  7. smwhorses

    smwhorses Well-Known Member

  8. Glara

    Glara Member

    I'm having health problems too. My blood pressure is very high and so is my heart rate. The meds aren't working. I don't even know if I should tell him about this if he does talk to me again. It was so bad this evening I almost went to the ER. I'm sure what's going on on adding to it. But if I tell him it might make him worse. Then again I don't know if he's going to come back, so I shouldn't even think about it. I'm such a mess.
  9. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

    Focus on healing yourself first foremost before trying to cope with someone with ptsd. Your health is more important. And sounds like he's taking a timeout for himself for now maybe he will be better in few days, few weeks who knows. Each has their own pace. But you still can continue being there for him and be supportive the best you can offer, he will approach you when he's ready.

    I'm more worried about your health right now over him withdrawing, please go to a doctor and get those issues checked out. :hug:
  10. Glara

    Glara Member

    I did go to the Dr and she put me on meds, they just aren't working. I'll need to to go back.
  11. DrownedFishOnFire

    DrownedFishOnFire Quieta non movere

  12. Glara

    Glara Member

    I'm just so depressed. I just want to die. I feel like a loser, stupid. No man has ever loved me, not my father or brother. No one. I'm just done.
  13. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Glara go back to your doctor and explain the medications are not helping. Your are not any of those things you have mentioned.

    Always remember depression lies....and will continue to lie to you until it is under control.

    Go back to the doctor and ask to be referred to a therapist and go from there :hug:
  14. Glara

    Glara Member

    I left a message at m Dr to schedule an appt, I explained what's going on with the meds. I also contacted the only counseling service in town, explained my schedule and asked them to let me know when I can schedule an appt. My BP and heart rate was very high again this morning so I got back in bed. It did go down, I plan to stay here all day and tomorrow, except to go to the movies. That's pretty relaxing and I can dress really comfy. I still feel worthless and taken advantage of on so many levels.
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