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My boyfriend is suicidal and I don't know what to do

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Forgetful, Jan 28, 2012.

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  1. Forgetful

    Forgetful New Member

    My boyfriend and I have known each other for almost our entire lives. He's 26 and I'm almost 25 and we've been dating for 3 and a half years. When he was a kid, his step dad abused him a lot while his mom never interveined. My bofriend has been involved in a lot of drug and alcohol situations and deafened one of his ears because he was drinking and driving. He is clearly depressed. He can't hold a job for a long time because he gets bored and angry at it and then quits or walks off. He has no close friends but myself and he's very resentful at his mom for 1.)being so close to his younger half sister while alienating him from the family and 2.) because his mom never stopped his step dad from beating him. My boyfriend says he's never felt fullfillment from life or saticfaction and often he drinks to escape the pain. He out of work a lot and because of that, I'm having a hard time supporting myself and my daughter because he is also relying on me. I can't push him to do anything because he snaps and he screams and throws a fit and sometimes he runs off and I have to chase him. He's never hurt me or broken anything, but he gets very verbal at me. However, my boyfriend can control himself infront of my daughter. He has no money saved up and doesn't know what to do with his life. This is a big source of pain fro him because conventional jobs can't keep him happy. He has no goals or plans and thinks that he should just be dead because he can't fit into the world. Sometimes he goes through this cycle:
    day 1.) decides to move back in with his mom because he hates me and can't be around me
    day 2.) gets inspiration from life and decides that living with me is better because there are more job opportunities around me than his mom's
    day 3.) gets depressed because he doen't want to move to his mom's
    day 4.) decides he can't take me anymore and has to move in with his mom no matter how much he hates her
    day 5.) gets ready to go to his mom's then freaks out at me and himself and threatens to kill himself because the thought of living with her is too much
    and then the cycle starts again.
    Now, I've read a lot of these websites about suicide so I think I can help him get out of his depression a bit, but what do I do after he's decided not to kill himself? I still can't push him to get a job, he refuses to get help from a therapist because he can't stand "paying someone to help" him. So he bums around my house all day playing video games, eating and sleeping. Every time i convince him to not kill himself, his lifestyle doesn't change and then he gets really sad again. He also said if I call the police on him, he's just going to convince them and any doctor that he is fine.
    He blames me for a lot of his pain, and I know I haven't been the greatest girlfriend, but at this point I am at a complete loss of what to do.
    It's either have him live with me where physically he's safe but emotionally distressed, or he moves in with his mom and is advid that he will kill himself there.
    What do I do?
    I feel like I am totally powerless. No matter how I try to help, he cuts it all down and says none of it will matter.
    Please help ASAP he's sleeping right now and I don't know if I should wake him up and try to rent a movie or something to cheer him up or let him sleep. Also, when he wakes up, what should I do?
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi Forgetful...your bf is so fortunate to have you in his life...sounds like he is in need of professional advise, although, many people who need the help the most are very resistent...please do not blame yourself for his problems...of course, you should do what you can to show him you care, but the difficulty is, when people do not like themselves, it is so hard to feel that...maybe,and I know this is a long shot, he can be a member here, and he can see that many people feel as he does, and have strategies to cope with it...welcome and you can feel so proud you are such a good person...stay safe and please keep posting
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