Firstly. Gah. It's so hard to type without using my right hand... Secondly... I feel a bit bad for even needing to make this rant. My LDR boyfriend is the best thing that ever happened to me. He's treating me with so much respect and yet we have so much fun. I feel so free with him. But... he's brain damaged. And he has PTSD. (I was actually the one who saw that and sent him off to get help, 15 years too late...). When he was 14 years old he had a very bad biking accident and was put in artificial coma so his body could recover... but this being 14 years ago they kept him under for too long and his brain is now damaged both from the fact that he landed on his head and the coma... He can't do more than one thing at a time, he forgets things really easily unless he writes it down... and worst of all for 15 years he couldn't say a word. He had gotten aphasia. Luckily he could still write and his only ways of communication was sticky notes and online... (which was also why he joined that dating chat where we met 18 months ago). I think it was a year before we met he got his speech back somewhat. (the brain is amazing like that!) But he talks a bit slow and sometimes says a wrong word... especially if he's stressed. The two times he's had a panic attack while we chatted he doesn't make sense. He mixes Dutch and English (which makes me so happy I am learning Dutch) and yeah, you pretty much have to guess what he means. I am always so afraid of doing the wrong thing with him. I know he's very self-conscious about it, while on most days I don't even notice it. I'm used to his voice being a bit raspy, him coughing a lot and I try not to giggle if he makes funny mistakes. (like the first time we talked on skype and he accidentally said "My wife cut my hair" because he forgot to say 'My brothers wife'. He get's really upset if he forgets things, especially about me... when in truth he remembers so many details about me. This weekend he remembered the wrong day of when my best friend is coming to visit, and I saw him kick himself for it. I keep telling him it's okay. But yesterday I had a bit of a scare... He was very tired and suddenly out of the blue he started talking so very, very slow. He struggled to remember simple words. I let him talk, I let him finish his sentences, and tried to act natural... but it scared me so much. I can't deny that. Tonight we had a talk over the cam as well, he was so tired too, but he didn't have an episode, thank goodness. I want to add that I don't mind it, it was never a problem for me to have a 'brain damaged boyfriend'. He's just my boyfriend. He's a very capable man in his own right. But yeah... I hate that I got so scared. and I hate that I fear doing the wrong thing... he's been hurt in the past.