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My brain hurts

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by whydoes, Nov 30, 2011.

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  1. whydoes

    whydoes Member

    I don't know why I have thought about suicide for the past 20 years. I have tried several times. The attempts were feeble. The closest I ever got was once I took a bunch of pills after a fight with my sister and slept threw an entire day. I also bought a gun once about nine years ago, but I called some one and my mom came and took me to the doctor.
    The thing is that I am 32 now. I just quit my job and withdrew from a fellowship at Vanderbilt. Nobody likes me. I have never been married. I have had 2 abortions. I can't get out of bed. I just really do not want to live. I dont want to hurt and disappoint my family, but I hurt and disappoint them any way. I can't go anywhere without being harassed, and I am a targeted individual.
    I wish suicide was legal.
  2. windlepoons

    windlepoons Well-Known Member

    Why are you harrassed?
    Quitting your job could be seen as a new start, a way to change your life for the better.
  3. crystalclear

    crystalclear Well-Known Member

    I agree with her. Start fresh, find a job where nobody knows you. Besides you're still young you could still find happiness, you just gotta keep looking for it. I make this list (in my mind but you could also write it down) where I put all of the things that makes me happy, little things, big things...example chocolate,movies, books, ice cream, amusement park, flowers, blue sky, then I try to experience the things in my list. It helped me get through every day the next thing I knew I felt better and happier. :D
  4. EarToHelp

    EarToHelp Member

    That's nice crystal clear, that is good advice. You need to know what you want in life and go towards it every day.

    Any hobbies etc?
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