my brother commited suicide

[tammyelle]

suicide, is a terrible thing to put family members through. my brother micheal ended his life 10 years ago. we wre left with alot of guilt,and anger. i miss him terribly. i understand why he did it. micheal never felt loved, he was so filled with anger, he used to fight anyone,i guess this was his outlet. than he just quit fighting,arguing,this was after a family meeting we had. mom and micheal never got along,when we had family gathers,the rest of us could feel the tension.mike knew how to push her buttons. finally after the meeting things seemed better,not great but better. i love my mother,but her love for mike wasn't unconditional.there was alot of damage done.mike hurt mom alot,he called her a bitch even pushed her he would steal things from all of us.mike was very aggressive with us.dad and mikes arguments would get so bad it would end up dad would have him by the throat holding him to the floo,i gee this really hurts,poor mike. but eventually mike got bigger and dad could know longer fight him. they kicked him out several times. mom said things like i hate having around here...it wouldn't bother me if he never see him again...mom got her wish we all said and did hurtful things,and so did he.mom passed away 2 years after mike passed ,she cried everyday,she was soo sad. mom died of cancer,i believe she died of a broken heart. i wished sometimes this was a bad dream,and we could wakeup and make everything right,although mom did try to make things rite by spending alot of time with my brothers son ...i don't know... i'm just still sad thanks 4 listening

 

[asri]

((((HUGS))))

aw hun,, its so true.. when someone commits suicide, a lot of people are left so devastated.. like dominoes that fall..

its so easy to say hurtful things in anger and never understand the repurcussions.. hope u find teh courage to be more positive n move on to the best that u can..

 

[Scum]

I'm so sorry for all you have been trhough over the years, it sounds absolutely horrific. How are you doing now? Have you ever had any help to help you cope with the grief and pain you feel?

 

[WildCherry]

I'm so sorry for everything you've been through. s*

 

[Sadeyes]

Tammy, so glad you found us and so sorry you have been through all of this...I am very thankful you sound so strong at that you can seperate your brother's and mother's actions and emotions from you own...and your sense of well being...please know that we are here for you to post how you feel and to gain support...big hugs, J

 

[Little_me]

I feel so sorry for you :hug:

 

[Rosenrot]

Well, you see what mike's death did to your family - what would yours do to them? :mellow:

Oi, something to think about.

 

[GabrielConroy]

Your brother reminds me of myself a little. I have a little brother i always wondered how it would affect him.