My brother

Discussion in 'Grief and Bereavement' started by pisces, May 8, 2010.

  1. pisces

    pisces New Member & Antiquities Friend

    I'm finding it harder and harder as times goes on,I say time it hasn't been a year yet since my brother took his life but its fast approaching,he came to stay with me and my husband last may and he gave up on the 9th of July,it seems like yesterday and every conversation we had is going round and round in my head i wish i could have one night's sleep, i tried to be strong for him and he told me the only time he actually felt calm and relaxed was when he was sitting talking to me,i went to bed a bit earlier that night because i was so tired being up till all hours for weeks making sure that he went before me,but that night i went up first thinking the day i really had to worry about was going to be the next one,how selfish was that,and when i look back it was all wrong that night anyway but i even shrugged feelings off because i was tired,you see selfish!!and look how tired i am now
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    i have been told we can't blame ourselves for our brothers death. i blame me for not being there either. i was tired overwhelmed i wish i listened i wish i just did something but like you i took along bath and went to bed and i shouldn't of
    I understand your feelings but you were so tired being strong for him youwere there for him for so long he knew you cared. My brother did not know i cared i was too busy taking care of other members of family. His illness took him that night not you he left because of his illness got the better of him He knew you loved him he just was not strong enough. I amsorry this happen to you I hope you can do something in memorial of your brothers spirit something he would love take care okay i hope youcan get support you need now to stay strong and healthy as your brother would want