i know you all have lives and better things to get upset about so just ignore this thread, k? i gotta put my little cat down but i don't want to. For months i've been telling my foster parents to take her to the vet because she's not well and for months they've shunned it, finally after massive weight loss and blatent laboured breathing we took her to the vet last Tuesday. The vet said she didn't know what it was, possibly fluid in the lungs, possibly an infection so she gave her a shot of steroids and anti-biotics and told us to come back in 2 days if she didn't improve. She seemed better every morning and bad during the evenings, told them to take her back on Friday but they 'wanted to give the anti-biotics time to set in' last night she was choking on nothing and this morning Tristan woke me up because she was bad and told me to get an appointment at the vets no matter what my foster parents said so i did...i took her at 4, the vet listened again and told us she'd have to take her in for an x-ray to see more clearly, then we hear how much it'll cost, if she's counscious it'll only cost £50 but if she needs sedating it'll be £75. Mike being the heartless idiot that he is kept going on about how he NEEDS to be certain that if he's going to be spending a possible few hundred on a treatment that she'll be cured completely otherwise he wasn't prepared to treat her. We leave her there, the vet says she'll call in a few hours when the results are in so we can take her home... 6pm comes and mike calls me, says the vet needs to see us ASAP...of course the worst is going through my head, it has been all day. We get there and Rolo's looking...sad and sick. The vet says it isn't good...she drained 170mls (i think thats right) of fluid from her lung and said there was a callous (something like that) in her lung causing it...said there are 2 options...we let her go home and spend her last few days/months with us or an expensive sepcialist operation to remove the infected lobe from her lung which mike has already said isn't an option! i'm trying desperatly to hold back blaming my foster parents for letting this happen, maybe if they'd taken her a few months back when i said it would have been stopped. Anyway, the vet said in theory it was caused by something she breathed or is breathing in which has baffled us all because if its in the house all of us are breathing it in including my other cat, so why haven't we been effected at all and if its outside then do we need to warn our street, most of which have cats? so yer...my baby girl has to be put down. i'm heart broken because they're my cats. As stupid as it sounds i rely on her when i'm down because she's always by my side when i'm down, she knows when i'm upset. My cats are the only things i talk to on a daily basis, they're the only things i talk to about how i really feel, more so her because she actually listens, she actually cares. My foster mums neice had to put her cat down before christmas, they let her told him while he fell asleep, she explained how distressing it was for her watching im fall asleep and knowing she couldn't take it back. She's stuck because even though the cat would have suffered...she's left feeling guilty because it was her desicion, she let it happen. I want to be the last thing my cat see's, i want to old her while she goes to sleep but i want her to wake up healthy again. I don't want her to be in pain but i need her. She's the most beautiful cat i've ever seen and she's the bestest friend i could ever have. On my way home from the vets i was crying in the car and all Mike was going on about is how he's spent £125 in 2 weeks on a cat that's just gonna die. I'm here and i wanna tell them i don't want to get rid of her when she's gone, she's a big part of me and i want to have something, like her ashes or something but i'm too scared incase they think i'm pathetic or start going on about how much it'll cost. I don't give a shit how much it'll cost, if it was an option i'd give her my lung, i'd spend my lifetime paying them back. I get home and suddenly everyones talking about cats. I wanna lay in bed and not think about it right now but Shrek 2's on with Puss in Boots, chats full of cat talk for some reason, all ads and tv programmes have something with a cat in... whatever. its pathetic.