My cat

Discussion in 'I Have a Question...' started by JBird, Feb 11, 2009.

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  1. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    i know you all have lives and better things to get upset about so just ignore this thread, k?

    i gotta put my little cat down but i don't want to. For months i've been telling my foster parents to take her to the vet because she's not well and for months they've shunned it, finally after massive weight loss and blatent laboured breathing we took her to the vet last Tuesday. The vet said she didn't know what it was, possibly fluid in the lungs, possibly an infection so she gave her a shot of steroids and anti-biotics and told us to come back in 2 days if she didn't improve. She seemed better every morning and bad during the evenings, told them to take her back on Friday but they 'wanted to give the anti-biotics time to set in' last night she was choking on nothing and this morning Tristan woke me up because she was bad and told me to get an appointment at the vets no matter what my foster parents said so i did...i took her at 4, the vet listened again and told us she'd have to take her in for an x-ray to see more clearly, then we hear how much it'll cost, if she's counscious it'll only cost £50 but if she needs sedating it'll be £75. Mike being the heartless idiot that he is kept going on about how he NEEDS to be certain that if he's going to be spending a possible few hundred on a treatment that she'll be cured completely otherwise he wasn't prepared to treat her. We leave her there, the vet says she'll call in a few hours when the results are in so we can take her home...

    6pm comes and mike calls me, says the vet needs to see us ASAP...of course the worst is going through my head, it has been all day. We get there and Rolo's looking...sad and sick. The vet says it isn't good...she drained 170mls (i think thats right) of fluid from her lung and said there was a callous (something like that) in her lung causing it...said there are 2 options...we let her go home and spend her last few days/months with us or an expensive sepcialist operation to remove the infected lobe from her lung which mike has already said isn't an option! i'm trying desperatly to hold back blaming my foster parents for letting this happen, maybe if they'd taken her a few months back when i said it would have been stopped. Anyway, the vet said in theory it was caused by something she breathed or is breathing in which has baffled us all because if its in the house all of us are breathing it in including my other cat, so why haven't we been effected at all and if its outside then do we need to warn our street, most of which have cats?

    so baby girl has to be put down. i'm heart broken because they're my cats. As stupid as it sounds i rely on her when i'm down because she's always by my side when i'm down, she knows when i'm upset. My cats are the only things i talk to on a daily basis, they're the only things i talk to about how i really feel, more so her because she actually listens, she actually cares.

    My foster mums neice had to put her cat down before christmas, they let her told him while he fell asleep, she explained how distressing it was for her watching im fall asleep and knowing she couldn't take it back. She's stuck because even though the cat would have suffered...she's left feeling guilty because it was her desicion, she let it happen. I want to be the last thing my cat see's, i want to old her while she goes to sleep but i want her to wake up healthy again. I don't want her to be in pain but i need her. She's the most beautiful cat i've ever seen and she's the bestest friend i could ever have.

    On my way home from the vets i was crying in the car and all Mike was going on about is how he's spent £125 in 2 weeks on a cat that's just gonna die. I'm here and i wanna tell them i don't want to get rid of her when she's gone, she's a big part of me and i want to have something, like her ashes or something but i'm too scared incase they think i'm pathetic or start going on about how much it'll cost. I don't give a shit how much it'll cost, if it was an option i'd give her my lung, i'd spend my lifetime paying them back.

    I get home and suddenly everyones talking about cats. I wanna lay in bed and not think about it right now but Shrek 2's on with Puss in Boots, chats full of cat talk for some reason, all ads and tv programmes have something with a cat in...

    whatever. its pathetic.
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I know how you feel...although I have wonderful friends, my furries are always my closest sorry and big hugs, J
  3. LenaLunacy

    LenaLunacy Well-Known Member

    So sorry to hear this :hug:
  4. ~Claire

    ~Claire Well-Known Member

    Hey hun,

    It's not pathetic :hug:. I remember breaking my heart years ago when my rabbit got put to sleep. I couldn't go in, my sister went instead & I cried for days over it. I have dogs now & I am dreading the day when they get sick &/or old. Pets play a masive part in our life, to the extent that we don't consider them a pet & more like one of the family.

    Thinking of you, Claire xx
  5. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    It's not pathetic, your post actually just brought me to the brink of tears. I'm sitting here trying not to cry. It's amazing how much people can depend on animals. Animals don't care what you've done, they love you regardless. Their there to comfort and nurture. Saying that it's easy to see why we DO get attached. We can sit there and talk and talk and they will listen because they love you. Theres something so comforting bout it.

    I know how hard it is. Ninja got taken into the emergancy vets a few years back nearly died at home, we put it off hoping he'd get better and he didn't but you gotta try not to blame anyone. You can't keep going back to the what ifs' because you gotta concentrate on your baby now.

    And what you said earlier in chat ... about cat's just being everywhere. I think once your life is affected in a bad way by something your more susceptible to picking up on that subject.

    Do you know how much the operation would cost roughly? Out of curiousity.

    If there is no other option than to put her down then what about burying her in the garden? Would Mike and Sue let you do that? I know it's not something oyu wanna think about but im picking up on points that you posted. All the pets i've had including my first cat which got run over are buried in garden just down the road from my house. A lot of people keep their pets close. So even tho their gone their still near by. You can still go sit with them. Talk to them.

    I think everyone can understand how your feeling and anyone will tell you that it's not pathetic. It's a heart breaking thing to have to go through and we're all here if you need someone to talk to.

    I'm around anytime you need someone and you should know that by now. Text, call, msn message or whatever i'll always be there, i do know how you feel and your not alone.

    Wubbles you loads darling :wub:
  6. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    I cuddled my old dog while they put her to sleep, as sad as it was she wasn't afraid cos I was holding her and the last thing she saw was me.
    It takes a time to get over losing a best friend, but don't let her suffer.
  7. gentlelady

    gentlelady Staff Alumni

    Pets are very special parts of the family. It isn't surprising that you are feeling so torn about what to do. You are making the right decision if life means nothing but suffering for her. She doesn't know what is going on about why she suffers. You should not feel guilty in the slightest. Perhaps there is something you can do in her memory. The possibilities are endless.
  8. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    I'm sorry beaks. Pets can be very close to you, just know that you did everything you could for your cat. My birds died last month, I miss them like crazy. :hug:
  9. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey hun . . . . : ( i am so sorry. . i cried when i read your post. . . people who love animals like you do - have big hearts. you are truly a kind and loving person. and to me also, money does not matter - over someone you love
    and a pet is not a 'thing' it is a being.

    i still grieve over each pet i lost. and i still dream about them at times. . . there are no words i can say to make it better. . . just that i will be here if you need to talk. and that i can thinking of you - xxxx hugs
  10. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i am so sorry and you are definitly not pathetic for feeling this way. you have a big heart and you carle deeply. you dont want that bond to be broken and its just the worst feeling in the word thinking that that time has come :hug:

    i remember when i had to put my cat down. my parents took her to the vets but she was so sick i said that i wouldnt let them back in with her because i didnt want her to die in my arms. that would have been harder to cope with

    thinking of you x
  11. resistance

    resistance Staff Alumni

    It's not pathetic, it must be heart breaking having to put a pet down and the decision lies in your hands. When my dog was really poorly I was scared we'd be told the best option would be to put him down, it was on my mind constantly but I hoped he would pull through it. After taking him to the vets a few times they said to see how he would be over the weekend and take him back on Monday if no improvement, on the morning he took a turn for the worst and we contacted the vet, before the vet came here Sam had already passed away. Pets become a part of the family and no one should dismiss your feelings.

    Any chance you could pay for the operation in parts and not one lump sum? How about insurance could that help the cost?

    I know we don't normally talk much Beaks but the option is always there. :hug:
  12. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    Since coming back from the vets she actually looks like she's dying, before she went she was just a skinny cat looking sorry for herself but now she walks and lays tenderly, she eats very little and very slowly but drinks a lot. It seems draining her lung hasn't boosted her and she's deteriating fast. When do we know when she's truely unhappy and suffering instead of just having a bad day? i can tell exactly what she's feeling all the time but i don't want to be the one that tells my foster parents she's ready.

    Its going to be so empty without her, i don't want to think about how my other cats going to feel. They hate each other but i think they only hate each other due to convenience...if you get what i mean. Todds 19, he's to old to look after her and play her games but i still think he'll be upset...its stupid but a fair amount of the pain i'm feeling is wondering what Todd'll go through. I dont know...she's not good today, she's laying on my bed now, she can't even lay properly, possibly because her sides sensitive due to draining her lung but it's still scary.

    i'm sorry for droning on but i need to post it, if i dont i'll be crying all day again and i cant do that, i need to do things today.

    Res - Our local vet can't do the operation as its a specialist operation. She didn't even try to convince my foster dad, she didn't explain how to get it, how much it'll cost, what imrpovements it'll make to Rolo's lifestyle. She only told us an aperation could be possible because she saw i was already in tears. We don't have insurance on the cats, i wish we did now, i didn't even know you could get insurance for pets :(
    Last edited by a moderator: Feb 12, 2009
  13. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Maybe ring up the vets and find out for yourself? Even if it's to put your mind at rest that theres no other options?

    Your not droning on :hug: you know where i am :wub:
  14. Terry

    Terry Antiquities Friend Staff Alumni

    Beak, what about the PDSA they treat animals for nothing.
  15. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Theres a thought. We took our cat to the RSPCA, although it cost us some money it was a hell of a lot cheaper considering they saved his life twice while he was there.
  16. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    The free veterinary care provided by PDSA for owners who cannot afford private vet fees is not limited to dogs and cats - all popular domestic pets are treated, including those described as 'small furries' - rabbits, hamsters, guinea pigs, gerbils rats and mice

    What are the eligibility criteria?

    To be eligible, pet owners need to live within the defined catchment area of a PDSA PetAid hospital or PetAid practice and must be receiving financial help with their housing costs through either Housing Benefit or Council Tax Benefit. This means that one in five UK households is eligible for help by PDSA.

    Use the PDSA finder to discover the location of your nearest PDSA PetAid hospital or if there are PDSA PetAid practices in your area.

    Alternatively, to confirm what help is available in your area or whether you are eligible for free treatment please use the email enquiry form or call 0800 731 2502 our staff will be happy to help.
  17. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    we're not eligible for help :(
  18. Marshmallow

    Marshmallow Staff Alumni

    Ring up vets and see how much the op would be??
  19. JBird

    JBird Well-Known Member

    What does it matter? Mike isn't going to pay for it, i can't afford to pay for it, mum and dad wouldn't pay for it. According to the vet she doesn't have much time left, i'm not gonna waste the little time i have looking for someone to pay for the op should we find someone that can actually do it for us.
  20. soliloquise

    soliloquise Well-Known Member

    find a friend on benefits.. get them to say it is their cat and go with them.. is easiest way and it works... also you can ask a vet if they will accept monthly payments.. i do that and always have. explain your situation., they have a legal duty to help an animal. just turn up and when you come to play explain your situation... i have done that b4.
    last ditch attempt would be to ask everyone you know to contribute a few quid towards it or borrow the cash. i would chip in i love animals.
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