You could say simply because I am thinking of other people, that is all the more reason to stay alive. Sadly, that is not the case. Telling my story may be therapeutic for me, but it doesn't help my situation for others to know. Selfish and Stubborn, I know... My biggest concern is what will happen to my 2 young sons. One is 3 1/2 and the other 1 1/2. I have not seen them as much as I would like due to the circumstances in my life, but I want to know what will happen. Will their mother one day tell them why and how I killed myself. Will they even remember me. Will the event be too traumatic to their mother that she might kill herself, or erase my name from the pages of history. While it doe's bother me to be leaving my children behind, maybe grasping how the next 16+ years of their lives will be.