My come back for a long time :)

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Unregistered, Feb 27, 2013.

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  1. Unregistered

    Unregistered Member

    Hi all,

    I came across this site 7 years ago at the time when I thought had been the darkest of my life. I was a teenager then, who had my ups and downs and some suicidal thoughts. Years went by, worse things happen of course I guess, as you go on living, even worse things will come eventually. :) I've just ended my first long term relationship and somehow feel like I was thrown back to my lonely teenage self before, as if nothing has changed inside of me.
    I don't have people that I can call "friends" but I'm pretty much content on my own. I don't have any problems socializing, I just don't enjoy it as much. I'm the kind who can lose interest very easily. Rarely that I find people interesting to listen to or put my trust in. Most of what I hear are words that come from weaknesses, arrogance or insecurity which is carefully masked by confidence. Where are all the graces and sincerity that put human beings closer to each other?
    I pushed people away from my life, my fear of commitment pushed my ex away, which I've never admitted to him, and I hurt him terribly.
    Now that I'm alone again, living in the memories of lost love and lost feelings.. I missed my old self with all the energy and enthusiasm, excitement, passion..
    That's when I start asking myself again, what's the point of living anymore?

    Tomorrow when I wake up and have my coffee, I might feel okay and continue, but who knows? The truth won't go away.
    :) Thanks for reading all this.

  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    Hi and welcome again, although I wish under better are true that life does come with its ups and downs...and when we incur a more troubling period, it is so important to reach out as you have...I am of the belief that if we found something for ourselves, we can find it is never the same, and I am not sure we want it to be...maybe, it would be of benefit to see why you push people away...many of us do this, but our reasons may be different...welcome again and hope you find the support this time as you did before
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