My complaint

Discussion in 'Poet's Corner' started by Tobes, Nov 16, 2009.

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  1. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    This is my complaint about how hot it is in Australia at the moment.

    Sweat rolls down my cheek
    It's been like this all week
    The temperature is rising
    Summer has hit hard

    I wish that it was cool
    Should go swim in a pool
    But I am self conscious
    And the price of entry high

    My desire's getting worse
    I'll do myself in first
    And enjoy my time in heaven
    Before the devil knows I'm dead*

    This feeling will not stop
    The temperature won't drop
    My neighbor has his alcohol
    And I am left with thirst

    Christmas will be hell
    I'll need to leave my shell
    Socialise with family
    I can't afford the gifts

    This is my complaint
    I'm definitely no saint
    The world is surely painful
    And my death will make it worse

    So choose to live you say
    The pain will go away
    Just give it time my friend
    Stay and talk to us

    My family will cry
    If I choose to die
    My battle's getting harder
    It's still too fucking hot

    * This is an alteration of the Irish saying "May you be in heaven a full half hour before the devil knows you're dead."
    Last edited by a moderator: Nov 16, 2009
  2. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Subject made me laugh ^__^ I'll read it in a little while my friend, just writing a poem for Violet.
  3. NoGood

    NoGood Well-Known Member

    oh my god Tobes i feel you. i cooked today, i sweated a bucket load and we have a pool but im too body conscience so i just sat indoors and melted!!!! Im dreading xmas! Im irish and its -2 at home, its a huge difference for me. Im thinking about going home but the recession is terrible there so id prob be unemployed. im hoping the heat will evapourate my fat hahaha:lol:
  4. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    My Mum loved it

    My Mum said she loved the poem, she mentioned each idea flowed from one to another, and it rolled off the tongue, and was a very modern poem.

    I don't think I could comment because it's completely different to what I write, but yeah my Mum really loved it, honestly, I asked her. And she was an English teacher and went to Uni, so if she says it's good, well done Toby! :laugh:
  5. DrivEthermissIon

    DrivEthermissIon Banned Member

    Can you believe where I am in Perth it's been cool all day! I love Perth.
  6. Tobes

    Tobes Well-Known Member

    Thanks Chris, glad you and your mum liked it. It's cooler today, thankfully.
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