I guess this is my confession to people I do not know..I just need to get this off my chest as it is slowly eating away at me and I do not know how much longer I can keep this up.. Nearly four months ago I broke down at work and was signed off sick..The guilt and anger slowly subsided but in it's place was left a void..An emptiness like I had never experienced before.At first I filled it with sleeping pills and solitude, but as the weeks drew on I realised that something had changed..Not being at work removed a large chunk of my identity.. I know that this may sound strange to you but as a nurse I have dedicated years to my training and practice, so not being there rips my heart apart.. I have tried the "One day at a time" method of handling my depression and as I write this I am still trying to hang on, hoping that my life will return to some semblance of normality..But sitting in my desk are a stockpile of meds which I know will be enough to end everything and I am running out of reasons not to take them..I no longer feel guilty at leaving my family behind and in my heart I know that I have stayed here as long as I can..I cannot cope with this world anymore. I just needed to confess to someone that I am sorry..Sorry for all the anquish I shall cause, sorry that I cannot exist in this world and sorry for those who will have to clear up my mess afterwards.. This is my confession..I wanted someone to hear it before I go and I thank you for allowing me to.