My counsellor doesn't trust me!!!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by depressedGirl, Feb 17, 2009.

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  1. depressedGirl

    depressedGirl Well-Known Member

    Hi there. I went counselling today at 10 am and she doesn't trust me at all. She keeps asking if I am safe and ok. All because I tried to commit suicide and failed (obviously lol) and because the thoughts of suicide are still in my mind. I try to get them out but I can't. The thoughts reamain in my head. The only thing I can do is lie about my thoughts. I make a joke about it and my friends tease me for constantly for thinking about it so they see it as a joke. All except my counsellor and my Dad. They take my thoughts so seriously. I dream about suicide as well so what is the problem? I always wake up and I don't try to kill myself (apart from that once) so I don't see any harm in it. I put this on the suicide forum and not the attempts because I am admiting that I do have thoughts and dreams. Why do the counsellor and my Dad worry about and does it really matter if I think or dream of suicide? I am not really doing it so why does everyone worry? I hate worrying people. At the same time I hate lying to my friends, family and counsellor. How can I tell them I won't do it. I don't think I am at risk but I don't know anymore. Please help.
  2. ryanglander

    ryanglander Well-Known Member

    You are at risk. You need to be honest with your dad and your counselor. Dreams often bring into conscious what you would prefer to not think about. Are you being honest with yourself?

    Joking about suicide if you've attempted it is not funny. Your counselor and your dad realize this, obviously they are really concerned and care about you.

    It is important you tell your counselor about your dreams. Hang in there.
  3. crookxshanks

    crookxshanks Well-Known Member

    i think you need to be honest with yourself a bit more like you have done here... and then to your counsellor. the joking part can say a thousand more words than you realise to a counsellor. the way they are acting may be also forcing you to believe that they dont trust you.

    i do understand what its like to live with the thoughts in your head as i do have them a lot but it isnt as bad as it was.

    you need to talk to talk to your counsellor and those you care about to get them to trust that you wont do it. then from there maybe you can work on starting to lessen the thoughts in your head with your counsellor. do wish you a lot of luck and i know it will be scary talking about all of this in the first place but it will be good for you in the long run

    your always welcome to pm me
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