I am 15 and haven't talked to my dad since I was 11. He was on meth and was very abusive in every way. I use to spend weekends with him and would get abused psychically and mentally constantly. His words are what drove my confidence and self esteem to the low level it is at. This year my mom has lost income and is struggling for a way to make money. My dad about a year ago told us he was getting better. So far I haven't seen him since he was on meth. He admits he uses cannabis regurally and grows it. This doesn't bother me because I too use it. I somehow can't accept him back into my life without being scared or feeling awkward around him even when hes on the phone. I feel like I'm holding my mom back from financial security by saying I would rather her not move us near him. I don't know what I should do? Shut up and live 3 more years around him (he is possibly better with drug use and mental health) or avoid him? I told my mom that she would probably be happier without having her ex husband supporting her and having another one of your ex's have control over us again (note: us means mom, 12 year old sister, and me) but then again we could be kicked out of our house soon.