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My dad has cancer

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by White Dove, Feb 10, 2009.

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  1. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    Took my dad to see the doctor today about a knot that is on his neck. it had been getting bigger and bigger and he had me take him to the ER the other night, well they did a full CT scan ( where they put that dye in your blood system ) and it showed on the CT that he had a much bigger knot on the inside then it shows on the outside so they sent him to this surgery specialist which is where we went today.

    The doctor after coming in and feeling of his neck and looking at the CT scan said that dad indeed has cancer and once again he was referred this time to a cancer specialist in the county i live in. a DR Vossel, or vesser or something like that. So now we have to wait until they get the fax and call us to come in to see what if anything can be done.

    The Dr also had my file and from my understanding they are going to try to get me back on my tenn-care so i can get back on my chemo to combat my cancer also. i told them i was not worried about me, just take care of dad and not let him be in pain like i am in. Dad has insurance so they can get his needed medical care started ASAP. That dang doctor said he did not care about money and that he would get the ball rolling for my benefit because he said i was still a young chicken at age 36 and did not need to die. :tongue: but anyhow i told him just take care of dad and he said well we will take care of both of you. money or lack of it would not be an option for me. He said hes cares for his patients, not the money..

    so i guess if i can get my tenncare back and get back on chemo i might just take it and fight it. seems a heck of a lot of people want me to fight it and not give up but anyhow. i want dad to fight it so hopfully he will and hopfully he can get this removed and i hope he dont go through the pain i am enduring. the pain sucks big time as well as the other things. but anyhow, im more worried about him then me. i would gladly give my life for him or one of my friends any day.
  2. mdmefontaine

    mdmefontaine Antiquities Friend

    hey, i'm sorry to hear this. : (
    i understand how devastating it is to have a family member with cancer :sad:

    it sounds like you have some hope - and a great doctor. and those are both HUGE things. . .. i hope/wish/pray the very best for you and for your dad:hug:
  3. jameslyons

    jameslyons Well-Known Member


    That's tough. My family is riddled with it. Best wishes to your father.
  4. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    thanks guys.

    i just hope that the doc can be able to cut it out or something. my mom died at age 48 from cancer but i seen her suffer a lot, she did not have insurance and my dad does so that makes a huge difference and he can get surgery if needed or chemo and even pain meds.

    i dont have insurance but take a lot of pain pills and those over the counter pain pills do not do much at keeping pain under control. you know one time i had talked with the funeral director ( i have my funeral all planned out and tooken care of ) but the director there told me that he believed cancer was inherited. said that several people he had embalmed he also had to embalm one of their family members for having cancer also. i dont know if its inherited or cathching or what but its tooken a toll upon my whole family, my mom had it and died, i got it, and and now dad gets it...

    do you think its inherited? or catching?
  5. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    if the cancer is localised then it's ok. but if it has spreaded to the lymph system then there is a likelihood that it will spread. there are various stages of cancer. The most popular staging method is the DUKE staging method. check it out in the net. If it's at Stage A & B, there is a strong chance of recovery but if it's at Stage C or D, then you better spend more close time with him.
  6. Starlite

    Starlite Senior Member

    Dove, I am so sorry to hear about your dad and you as well. You have to take care of you too hun! I did not know you live in tennessee. I am in Virginia . I am glad to read that you will get your tenncare back. That will help you get the care you need. Stay strong hun and if yo uneed to talk, my pm box is open. if you have msn messenger my sign in is Karren05@live.com.

  7. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    So, you say that if it has spread to the limp system that hes not going to live that much more longer? well no matter what the doctors say it is GOD who decides when you go no matter if the doc says you only got a few months. This i happen to know is 100% truth is just having a stage 4 cancer does not automatically mean you will die soon.

    i have stage 4 and it has at various times spread, was even told i would not even make it to christmas and that was like over 2 or has it been 3:unsure: years ago. I tried chemo once, could not handle it, cost too much, even tried the research on taking a new drug, even toad oil ( yes oil that comes from a frog ) it did at time stop spreading or should i say go into remisiion, i go into remission, then it kicks back up. doc says next time it kicks back up and it will without me taking treatments, that it will kill me within a matter of days. but thats what the doc says. that doesnt mean thats what God says. for the past few months i have doing everything in my power to combat this naturaly by taking milk thistle, eating more greens, drinking more natural juices, etc i still have a lot of pain but i think the most thing that can be done is to have a mindset that you will win or rather beat it. if you sit around the house thinking well im dying might as well just lay here then you wont last long. i been here at SF what 3 or 4 years and im still going. still batteling many things. i guess you could say im not ready to give up:blink: and im not ready to let dad give up either, even if it is at a later stage or has spread.

    thanks for the info, i will look on the net for it.
  8. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    thanks hun,

    i hope i get my tenn-care back, Dr in Sparta said that this Dr in Crossville will help get the ball rolling on the state to get my tenn-care back. just got to stay positive
  9. LastCrusade

    LastCrusade Well-Known Member

    points noted. you have done your best to battle cancer and have let God do the rest. Well done! In view of what you have said, I suggest you better pray hard as well for your dad. Yes, it is God who ultimately decides as the hair on our head is numbered but we still have to do our part. It is great that you survived and is a testimony for God but not all who pray will survive cancer as bad things do happen to good people as well. An Aunt of mine died cos she refused to do her part (by going for a mastectomy) and all she did was to pray to God. Yes , God do answer prayers but God also helps those who also tries hard to help themselves. Those who refuses to do their part and expect God to do everything for them, I think will be severly dissappointed :)

    Anyway, hope your dad recovers. He has my prayers. :)
  10. Lovecraft

    Lovecraft Well-Known Member

    I'm in a similar boat. My dad ended up fine after they removed the tumor, but sans bladder and rectum. He needs bags to collect waste. He's partially blind and can't walk so well, and recently developed drop foot. Hope your dad comes out less scathed.
  11. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    yeah, i know what you mean and i have did all i can do on my part. heck i think i may have appealed that tenn-care bureau a thousand times over, but i keep getting paperwork saying that they fully understand my circumstance and that its not that they dont want me to have it, its that they dont have any money to grant it to me due to some BS that they say,etc. unless i am preganate or a child under the age of 18 then i cant get it. so what do i do? call them every dang day, apply every time i get denied, re-apply again, etc. its a no-win situation. theres not really anything much i can do. either get enough money to relocate to another state so i can get on their health insurance that that other states got or ? and the way with the economy as bad as it already is, there is no guarentee that i will even be able to get it in another state either. so what do you do when you done everything in the world? just pray, thats all i can do now.

    as for dad, he has insurance, which is a huge plus. he can get treatment ASAP. Got to log off now cause dads got that doc appointment today at 3:15. i just hope that at least if it is indeed not able to be removed or anything that they can get him pain meds. i dont want him to go through what i have been going through, some days the pain is so severe that i cant even hardly move let alone get up out of bed. that happened yesterday morning. i missed church but did manage to get to church last night for evening services. we even had a valentine dinner and i had cut this huge piece of cake and the ministers wife said susie you going to eat that then you will have to run 50 laps to get it all back off. i just smiled. i am losing weight pretty fast now, i dont think it would even effect me, last week ate a lot of sweets and lost another 6 pounds. i guess having cancer does at times have advantages, dont care much for the pain but like losing all this weight.

    i suppose this might have been my last valintines day ( if the Lord says it is cause only he know ) but if its not i sure ate enough sweets for everyone at that church gathering. one thing though. i hope they dont expect me to be there every time they have services cause i cant be there everytime, heck i dont know what tomorrow may bring for me. none of us does but while we can we can at least make the most of it. hey live for today. and if you see someone without a smile give them yours!
  12. mulberrypie

    mulberrypie Well-Known Member

    i am so so so sorry. :( :hug:
  13. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

    we now know whats going on with my dad. It is serious, very serious. Dad has to diffently have surgery on his neck. Doc went ahead and took a biopsy today and said point blank to dad do you want to live? dad said yes, then he said well then you are diffently going to have to have surgery. then a combination of chemo and radiation therapy after that if he survives the surgery.

    Dad is 74 years old and when he has this surgery to remove this cancer he will be under the knife in the operating room for 6 to 8 hours min. i dont know what i am going to do? he has to be up there next monday at 10:45 A.M. then he will be admitted to Cumberland medical center and will then be schedualed for surgery, then after surgery he will stay an additional 1 week for recovery. so i might just have 2 weeks left with him i have got to stay positive but at the same time prepare for the worst.

    Dr Gallos, did not seem like a happy man, he was very cold when he spoke to us, and he just came in and said do you want to live, dad said yes, and he said well then you got to do this surgery. Dr Pate had asked me to speak with him about getting the ball rolling on me getting my tenn-care back and for my cancer, but with him being cold like that i did not even bother him with it. i dont care about what happens to me.

    So for now. i have one week with him. he may go into the hospital and not come out. i really wish i had someone there with me when he goes into the surgery cause if they come out and say he passed away during the operation, i dont know what i would do or how i would be able to take it.

    i know one thing when dad goes, then i will go. He is/was the only reason i did not go through with my attempt. at the funeral of my brother the minister told me or rather asked me you would not want to put your dad through another funeral now would you? and i did take his word and thought about it and backed out. so when dad goes, then i go.. there will be nothing left to hold me here. nothing. i did not attempt again because of dad. without him. i littery have no ties or loved ones here.. plain and simple. when he goes then i go.

    those here that pray please keep him in your prayers? thank you!
  14. White Dove

    White Dove Well-Known Member

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