My Dad

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by LilDarling, Apr 18, 2008.

  1. LilDarling

    LilDarling Member

    I'm tired of my dad.

    My depression wasn't recognized by my parents until I was put in the hospital last month. When I was put in the hospital for depression, the one time he came to visit me, he pretended like absolutely nothing was wrong. The only time he mentioned anything was when he chuckled, looked around, and said, "You've got yourself in a mess now." Referring to getting myself hospitalized.

    A few days after I got out of the hospital, I started scratching my hands until the skin ripped up. My hands were covered with black and red scabs. He saw them and asked, "What are those?" And I answered: "I scratched myself." He looked away and continued watching television.

    I'm court ordered to attend this one group therapy... and on the Wednesday group, my whole family's invited. I keep asking him to come, but my dad always say's he's busy. But he never does anything on Wednesdays; they're his day off...

    I started cutting about a week ago. He saw the marks all over my arms, and said absolutely nothing.

    They perscribed me Zoloft two days ago... and when my dad picked me up from the psychiatrists office, I told him that I was on medicine... I asked him to go to the pharmacy and pick it up... he groaned and said, "How much do I have to do?! You made me go to the family meeting, and now this?!" He didn't say the family meeting "in the hospital." He still hasn't acknoledged that I was in the hospital.

    He started going on about how they're perscribing anti-depressants to "just anyone" these days... at which point I had to go take a walk because I was starting to cry.

    I feel invisible.

    I feel un-cared about.

    I know this might be a lot for him, especially on top of him having to work, but it would be nice to be acknoledged or even noticed once in a while...
  2. theleastofthese

    theleastofthese SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Altho I can't "do" anything to help you in your situation, I can easily imagine how awful you must feel about your dad's heartless cold attitude and behavior. Can you tell your therapist about this? Whether your parents go to family group therapy or not, at least your therapist should know about how they're treating you. His attitude towards you can make it harder for you to feel better, but I think you should try, just for yourself. I honestly would tell the therapist, if I were you. They should know about the "therapy" you're getting at home.:mad::sad:

    Please let us know how you're doing. We care. I care.

    love, least :hug:
  3. itmahanh

    itmahanh Senior Member & Antiquities Friend

    Hun I know this doesn't help you much but I think you Dad cant deal with this. And by trying to not get involved is his way of dealing with your mental health issues. If he pretends it doesnt really exist or tries to get involved as little as possible, then to him it isnt as important as it really is. Hope that makes sense. Keep letting him know it's real by repeatedly asking him to participate in things like "family day"or pick up brochures and information about your depression and leave them for him to read. So many people that have never dealt with depression are so misinformed about it. Maybe he has ideas of his own about it and it's time you educated him about depression. People who dont understand depression figure it's a faze and that we'll outgrow it or snap out of it. Teach him that it doesn't work that way. And most importantly take care of yourself sweetie. Dont let his ignorance about your mental health issues pull you even further down. Here if you need to talk about things.
  4. LilDarling

    LilDarling Member

    Thanks for listening. I have told my therapist, and he only urged me to get my dad to come to the Wednesday meetings, which he won't...

    And I've thought that ignoring me was my dad's coping method before... it just seems so irresponsible, though...
  5. sophie_b

    sophie_b Well-Known Member

    Hi, hope you dont mind this reply. Dont worry your'e not alone! my dad is exactly the same, i was diagnosed with depression a year ago and my dad is only just starting to come to grips with everything. For the whole year he brushed me off and ignored me like i wasnt even there, he spoke to me for the first time after 9months a few days ago. its hard, very hard! especialy when you remember all those times he wasnt there, but he does love you, even if he doesnt show it! you just need to have that little bit of faith, even if it is just that teeny tiny bit ... Dont give up!!!!