my darkness

Discussion in 'Family, Friends and Relationships' started by Placebo Soul, Jun 1, 2010.

  1. Placebo Soul

    Placebo Soul Banned Member

    *If you are under 21 or are easily offended by sexual or violent material, please do not read this post.*

    This is sort of like a confession. I've been bothered by this for a while, but have never really been sure whether it's a problem that I should deal with. As with most guys, I've used pornography since a certain age. My parents always told me how evil it was, even saying that they hoped I would get arrested, but never really telling me why. It's been similar to an addiction. It's gotten worse consistently. Currently, it is almost illegal <Mod Edit, WildCherry: graphic> though no one is being harmed. I've watched people's reactions to this kind of thing and consistently see that I will not be accepted by anyone, ever. I don't look at it simply to feel pleasure, but rather to ease my irrational anger and sadness by looking at the suffering of others. I don't know that I would even want to be close to anyone given what a disgusting, dangerous person I am.
    Last edited by a moderator: Sep 13, 2010
  2. Datura

    Datura Well-Known Member

    Something is either illegal, or legal, there is no "almost."

    How exactly are you dangerous?
  3. wheresmysheep

    wheresmysheep Staff Alumni

    You say you ahve been watching pornography fro a young age, this has probably desensitized you and thus causing what you find erotic to be pushed. The "norm" has no effect on you, so you make do by looking at other forms of sexuality.
    What you need to consider is if you would harm someone to please yourself. looking at drawings of it dont make you a bad person, just desensitized.
  4. Placebo Soul

    Placebo Soul Banned Member

    The law is actually a little vague. If someone has evidence and hates me, they could find a way to lock me up.

    I'm dangerous because of my unstable emotions. I'm glad that I'm not in a position where I can get away with any abuse, as I really can't trust myself.
  5. IV2010

    IV2010 Well-Known Member

    are you getting any proffesional help??
  6. Placebo Soul

    Placebo Soul Banned Member

    I'm seeing a psychologist, and intend to ask about meds on monday.