i really want to die now. Nothing matters to me, and nothing i can buy will make me happy. life feels so weird to me right now. It seems like im having a bad dream. and I cant wake up. like a horror movie. ive been sick these past few days. I don't know why, my body hurts and im super tired, I don't even want to walk around my house much. all alone, not a single friend. I have to find enough strength for one last action. I have to try to leave my house and find a way to death.