My decision about my life.

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by sadhart, Dec 7, 2011.

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  1. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    I find myself on here making topics and some times it feels like it's in vain. I try not to take away from other people's problems here, but I can't deny my own. The thing is, my problems are not going to get better. They are real issues that no dumbass lazy doctor can fix with dangerous pills, there is no hope or light that will shine forth to make this darkness, and I am so sick of being torn with my faith or lack of it when it comes to God.

    At the end of this month, if things continue to get worse, or really, just stay the same, I'm taking my life. I am so sick of living with so much pain and feeling so worthless. School seems so far off, there are hardly any job opportunities, and I can't get over this two year old broken heart. I'm just disgusted and sick of life.
     
  2. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    Dam darkness sadness it seems like it will always be there depression does that The thing is hun unless we do something different it won't change It is up to us to make that change weather it be dam pills for a little while just to give us that energy we need to do something. I found therapy does help hun the right therapist can help so much to talk to listen to guide us through that sadness to help us see the path we have to take to pull out of it. I hope you do keep reaching out hun i hope things do change for you
     
  3. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    Okay, first, while I respect your choice to take pills and see them as helpful, I am against them. I have had negative experiences with them and I was hurt by the stigma from others when it comes to pills and taking them. If I could see my therapist on a constant basis, I would, but I do not have the money to do so right now. The free mental health system is a broken lazy mess and again, all they offer is a bunch of random pills even when you have ACTUAL reasons for feeling sad. Thank you for hoping things will get better, but I'm not seeing it.
     
  4. Kiba

    Kiba Well-Known Member

    I can understand the not taking pills thing.. I have been off all mine for a year.. And I have also been hurt by taking so many diffrent ones..

    I do know for me.. When my circumstances changed from child to adult, then from on meds to off, plus a year of being off them.. I am starting to feel a lot better then I used to.. But now and again I still have those bad days..

    I guess what I'm saying is, I'm trying to relate to you.. and I wish people could see there are other ways besides medication to deal with and improve your life..

    I hope things can turn arround for you.. Life is a constaint rullet of change.. and for me I am holding out for that change.. I want that change.. especially for society's sake..

    Just letting you know I am here if you ever want to send a PM or anything. :hug:
     
  5. sadhart

    sadhart Well-Known Member

    DragonBlood, thank you. I really do appreciate what you said. I had been feeling bad all day and what you said helped to feel a little better both physically and emotionally.
     
  6. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    I do understand i have been off my meds for awhile too i just used them to help stabilize me some i don't like having to depend on them i found therapy help me some but i had to do the work to get stable i do get that noone can get me well but me
     
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