From the thread in Soap Box about that sickening rapist Roman Polanski: I have just found out that my fa***r does this... disregards what Polanski did. God I hate him. He is so disgusting. :/ How can he be my fa***r? How can he be such a terrible man? He is a xenophobe, too; he countless times have said that all immigrants - except Finns (since his wife (or my mother) is one, I assume) - should be deported. There are countless other things that just make him an overall terrible person. I hate him. He's so disgusting. And he always tries to put me down. I am even afraid that he might shoot me and my mother, one day... he has a gun and he used to want to kill himself with it, many years ago. Since he disagrees with almost everything I say, I use to keep thinking he will shoot me, one day. Why have I still not moved out? I have had to take his ways all my life. I have had an apartment for years, now, but I STILL have not moved out. Then again, that is to some degree because he always puts me down - always tries to belittle me... unless I, for a change, agree with him... which barely ever happens. A fight can be started about absolutely anything... even things that I try to talk about that I think are okay to talk about. And yes, I do have to talk about things with him... if I wouldn't, there would be a fight over that, instead. I am well over 28 and even still I haven't gotten out of the house because he keeps draining me of energy. I just wish I could get the energy to move out.... I am so sick of this. It's as if I'm imprisoned. Sometimes I feel it was because of my inability to move out of the house that my ex-girlfriend ended up being unfaithful to me... maybe my inability to quickly get the things done that I had to get done so we could live together made her lose faith in me... made her stop taking me seriously. Of course, that'd be a dreadful reason behind what made her do what she did, but I sometimes wonder if everything had been okay between us if I had gotten things done.... if I would've been able to keep my energy and just get everything done.... but it was fate, of course. :/ And maybe my fate also is to just die alone.... without my true love.... die all alone and become a ghost, afterwards, from the psychological anguish at my moment of death.