My dying light

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by Looming_darkness, Jun 21, 2016.

  1. Looming_darkness

    Looming_darkness New Member

    When I was a child, I had a very strict father growing up who was an abusive, controlling elitist that used to beat me up constantly. My older brother would also attack me when he had psychotic episodes.

    In school, I was bullied a lot for being a nerd. I was also hyper sensitive. When someone would tell me something unfavorable, I would lose sleep over it. Although I hide it well, it's hard being sensitive in an insensitive world.

    I went from being happy, naive and innocent to being a misantrophist.

    As an adult, things didn't fatr any better. I have a dead end job, ive been gaining weight, I'm now 200 lbs. It might not seem like a lot since I'm 5'10 but it's the heaviest ive been in my life. Only weird paraphilias get me off and hinder any healthy relationship.

    I have a friend but due to conflicting schedules, I am unable to comminicate as much as i'd like. I've also haven't contacted my mom in quite a while making me feel like a real p.o.s. I've also had my heart broken recently by someone. I do have dreams and aspirations but my depression seems to get the best of me.

    Is there anyone out there that I can talk to?
  2. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi, welcome to the forum. Please keep posting as we care about you. I have replied to another post of yours. You are important and never for that.
  3. I’m so sorry to hear about your struggles. Wish I could give you a hug right now. Words seem inadequate to convey my care and concern for you. I just said a prayer for you and I hope that God will provide the comfort and help you need at this time. Do you think it would help to speak with a counselor? I know that Focus on the Family can provide a free phone consultation with a licensed counselor if you call this number 855-382-5433. It might be worth giving them a call.