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my emotionaly worn out bleed

Discussion in 'Mental Health Disorders' started by Shock, Apr 2, 2007.

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  1. Shock

    Shock Well-Known Member

    i dont know what a thread is. i dont know that i should even by typing now but god do a feel the need to vent. im so tired of being depressed. both emotionally and physically. i try so hard to do everything right, you know, look after my health, try not to think depressing thoughts and all, but i just get so worn out. and these thoughts just keep comming on. like i have these quick flashes of pretty messed up stuff in my mind like knives slashing accross my wrists or shooting myself in the head or just looking at traffic on the road and half daring myself to jump in front of the next bus, often for no good reason or no trigger whatso ever. it just wears me out so bad. i just want to sleep but i feel too guilty about it to sleep properly, like im wasting time. i think long ago i decided i would kill myself, but its just like im putting it off. fuck i just am too worn out. and sick of going about it in circles in my head. just gotta stop being a pussy is suppose.
  2. lilboyblue

    lilboyblue Well-Known Member

    i know how ya feel, depression is very draining...it saps my motivation and strength, and those thoughts...they are getting more real all the time and i just want them to go away. yesterday i tried to distract myself by cleaning and listening to music; it helped for a little. is there anything you've found that helps to distract you...wish i had better advice...
  3. Style

    Style Well-Known Member

    i've been feeling exactly the same lately. suicide just seems like something so inevitable, i tried it in my younger days, back when i didn't really know how to do it in terms of methods, i haven't had any more attempts since then, but i keep coming back to it.

    something has always stopped me, but now it just seems like things won't change, instead of being scared by my feelings, i have come to accept them, i know i still have time and that i don't have to do it today, but so unmotivated and bored, i'll be very surprised if i live past this week, if i do, it's probably only due to an unsuccessful attempt, i just wish it wasn't so hard to actually kill oneself, we should all come with some secret button to push where you can just painlessly end it all.
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