Hello everyone, Well how should I start this? Everyday that I wake up I feel worthless. I've been suicidle since I was 8 years old. I feel like I'm a dissapointment to my family. I'm homeless and jobless and I've been mentally drained from the heartaches in life that I put myself through. Now that I'm trying to put my life together life to me seems not so important. I'm not scared to die, its a part of living. I know one of these days I'm going to end my life and I seriously can't wait till I get to that point when I get overwhelmed with every emotion I was born with. I'm sick of smoking marijuana and taking every other drug to forget about this pitiful life that I'm living. I tried to rely on religion, but the flesh is too much to handle. I tried poetry and expressing myself in front of others and that doesn't seem to work either. I'm so curious to find out whats on the other side of life. Life is not important to me anymore. I can't see my children and I feel I failed them as a father. My time is now. I wish I can start all over. I feel like I'm fuckin stuck in this situation I'm in and I can't get out like an old woman that can't get up. I'm too far mentally gone from reality. Living to me is senseless. Oneday I will come to that point where I would forget how much dying really hurts. Pain will no longer exist to me. I can't wait to my heart stops. Everything will be dark and comfortable. Thank you for reading.