My End Is Near

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by chris newman, Sep 11, 2016.

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  1. chris newman

    chris newman Member

    I am not going to bore everyone with my whole life story but everything has got massively on top of me and i cant cope with it anymore. I wake up everyday with a throbbing headache caused by stress and worry. I have tried to solve all my problems for years now but nothing has been settled and things keep adding to my list. I might as well list below what has made me think about suicide.

    1. No family
    2. No friends
    3. Massively in debt £25,000
    4. No money to live
    5. Cant pay rent next week
    6. Lost my job
    7. Nothing to look forward to.
    8. Overweight
    9. Absolutely no assets what so every

    As you can see these are things which depress anyone but mine has been going on for years and ive had enough now. People always say if you commit suicide its selfish on other people, well in my case there is nobody to care, i literally have not had a phone call for anyone in weeks.

    My questions are, What will happen to my body once i go? Will the UK government bury me or burn me?
    Is there anything i should do before i die?
  2. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    I'm sorry to hear to that you have no friends or family. But can I ask if you've had a falling out with your family or? And sorry if my question is a bit too close.

    But you can try to look for a new job, and maybe get friends there. I get that it's very stressing and you think about it everyday, but suicide is not the answer. It'll get better, although it doesn't seem like it just now.
    Maybe you can talk with your landlord about getting to pay your rent another month or so, if you tell him/her your situation?

    And I can't answer your question though, since I don't live in the UK. But you should try to see if you can do something about any of the things on your list, so you can see that it'll get better.
    You can get friends here, that'll help you and care for you.
    bobbob likes this.
  3. chris newman

    chris newman Member

    Thank you for your caring message! Ive have no family at all and I hope you dont mind we just leave it at that... Ive been to several interviews and all of them have said no, I think they can see my depression oozing out of me. Im already behind on the rent and have had an offical letter stating if rent is not paid by the 15th September i will be evicted. I have made my decision to end it and have a plan of exactly how to do it. I cant face being on the streets on top of everything else. Just need to ensure that my dog goes to a good home before i leave this hell.
  4. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    No problem! :)
    Ah, I see. That's okay, I respect that you don't want to go into it further.
    Well yeah, it can be hard to find jobs and such, but you can keep trying? I mean is it in just one line of work you look or is it mixed? Since I'm sure you can find a place, where they'll understand that you have a depression and that it'll at least be a good work place.
    I see.. But still it might be an idea to talk with the landlord? Since if he/she doesn't know why you haven't paid etc, he/she might be able to help you out a little at least?
    And I'm sorry to hear that, since I don't think you should commit suicide. Things will get better.
    I understand it's even more stressing to think of being without a roof over your head, and I get that you worry about your dog. But your dog will miss you. It might sound a bit odd, maybe. But it'll miss you a lot, dogs are always caring creatures.

    I at least think you should try and take a deep breath, count to 10 and again.. See through your list, since you can change some of them. I think you should at least give it a try, since things will get better. Although it might not seem like it.
  5. chris newman

    chris newman Member

    Thank you for you kind words but there no sorting out this mess. To be honest i feel a bit silly coming on here and spilling my words. I should have kept this all to myself. I have made my decision and its final. Thank you for the brief talk, you sound like a lovely person. All the best
  6. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    Don't feel silly, people here understand and will help you.
    And it's better to get it out, since it can clear up things for you, instead of the thoughts just manifesting in your mind.

    But I'm sorry to hear that, I just hope you'll reconsider, since it's not the answer and things will get better.
  7. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Staff Member Safety & Support

    Hi there,

    Do you have any job applications outstanding that you may yet hear from? Job searching is truly hard but I hope you press on and keep looking and trying right down to the wire, and I hope something gives for you.

    You have or can get friends from on here. It's a start, and often a good boost to confidence towards helping to get friends in real life.

    Before you die, maybe you can try to lose weight. I'm not saying this in a negative way at all. A number of us on here, and elsewhere are on this journey, and could partner with you. That just seems like it may be one on your list that you can focus on changing (thought it will be hard). That may be one battle you can try to win, with company.

    I'm sorry about not having family; they are often a source of great stress and pain at times though. You have a lot on your plate but I believe you can, and hope you will try to hang in there a bit.

    Does the UK eviction process take a while? Are there any shelters that you could use temporarily? Maybe look into the procedure, time it takes, and resources available before you do anything else or make any final plans please.
  8. chris newman

    chris newman Member

    Thank you for taking time to reply to me. Eviction will happen next week whether i like it or not. I dont plan on being her for that to be honest. Also ive just realised this is a pro life forum and completly the wrong place i needed to be for advice. Im sorry if i sound rude but my life is reality and is completely different to people who try and give advice who are financially secure with a house and family. Once again thank you for your advise it was kind of you to take time
  9. Dikta

    Dikta Autistic.

    There's others on this site, that has the same issues. Whether it's the money, no job, no family or friends, etc.
    So even if it's a pro life forum, I think it's good you found it. And I just wish you the very best, and I still hope you'll take a your small break and breathe. Since you can change and find solutions for your problems. Might not be easy, but you can.
    So I still hope you'll hang in there, since it'll get better. Just please re-think it all, since we're people on here that has read your story and don't want you to commit suicide.
  10. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    There are homeless people on this forum, people who are overweight, no friends, no family, buried loved ones. Don't feel alone because you are far from alone. I really hope you reconsider and choose life. I'm sorry to see you in this situation but glad you came here to talk about it.
  11. AlexiMarie7

    AlexiMarie7 Staff Member Safety & Support

    Well, if you care to have a bit of insight into my reality: not financially secure at all, no 'home', and the only family I can be around makes my health significantly worse most of the times. Definitely not messaging you from a wonderful position in this thing called life. I am struggling as well, but I hope that we can both find a way out and be around for better days to come.

    Have you looked into what resources may be available? It's worth it to check out every angle possible, even if you feel like giving up.

    I am truly sorry you have this much on your plate, and I send you best wishes nonetheless.
  12. chris newman

    chris newman Member

    Its kind of you to send me a message. I do hope you can find your way to a better life, it does sound that you are quite a positive person so i truly believe you will make it.
  13. Unknown_111

    Unknown_111 Forum Buddy Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Chris, welcome to the forum. Cannot you seek help from the local authorities. If you have no income cannot you claim unemployment benefits as well as housing benefit. Surely, you must know someone who can help you.

    With the twenty five thousand debt, you can declare yourself bankrupt and the debt will have to written off, if you have no assets. Yes, the next couple of years are going to be hard but you get through it. Please give a debt crisis line a phone call or go to the local citizen advice bureau for impartial advice. People survive through war, famine and so can YOU.

    Yes, it's going to hard but You can survive it. I am very sorry if I come across horrible but you can survive, we can help you as much as we can but please forget any plans you have as YOU ARE IMPORTANT.
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