It appears overdoses dont work, 3rd times the charm is also false, infact it appears that after 7 overdoses are various legal drugs I am still alive, plus add another 5 minor atempts and I am dumbfolded as to how the hell I am not on the floor dead. None of my friends or family know about my little problems, and even though I should have gone to the emergency room, I never did. The first attempt, I just wanted to see the afterlife, well I did alright, and I saw nothing but darkness. Well that didnt stop me from trying again and again, and again. I guess I am insane, though I haven't gone to the doctor to prove that theory. I am utterly lost and I fear for my life, yet I wish to take it. It is only a matter of time before I try again, and this time I dont think I will walk away from it. Of course I said that before. I am fucking sick of failing. My life is over, all because of my stupid mistakes. Even now I risk being discovered by my parents, but at this point I dont care. I dont care about anything anymore, the few friends I have left are clueless. I even tried praying many times. I was almost a believer, before I saw the void, before my life ceased to matter. I need help, and this the best thing I can do without alerting my family. For if that happens, I will simply take my life sooner.