I'm sorry for having so many issues. I want to be a better person for you. I should have never started pot again in October. I quit a couple months ago for you so I could be a better parent for you. Why did your mom run off with another man when pregnant. Then when I wanted to work things out with this fall she told me she still felt for her douche X picked a fight with me and then insulted me when I teased her about a 300lb guy her brother told me went to see her. I said I didn't know she liked fattys. Then she personally insulted me. She went on a dating website to meet other guys. I felt so unwanted. Why did I have to go through so much psychological abuse/manipulation, bullying and even physical violence. I temporarily went insane now I have so many enemies you will suffer, you don't deserve that at all. You're so cute and handsome. Your smile and innocence are such a joy, it helps me escape and live in the moment. How could it all come to this it's too surreal I want to be there for you to teach you to be a good, kind compassionate person, to be a role model, teach you sports, see you grow up and grow old. Protect you from anyone who wants to harm you. I had such a good time with you last weekend that big smile of yours when I was playing with you on the bed how my mom enjoyed seeing the two of us bond. I'm reminded of an intervention show where the one lady(the interventionist) who used to be an alcoholic was crying how the reason she beat her addiction was for her children, relating to another mother who was fighting addiction. I wish my problem was only an addiction but it's deeper then that. I love you so much, your mom telling me your saying dada earlier today just breaks my heart, I can't wait to see you this weekend. You're so pure and so amazing. I hope someday you'll understand.