My ex/boyfriend/whatever he is...

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by A_pixie, Jan 30, 2008.

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  1. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I have got to know you guys very well and I truly believe this site has stopped me ending it all. My guy...He doesn't know I go on a website he regularly posts on, and there is a thread about girls. He posted "Anyone will do at the moment" I'm not sure whether this is something that could keep me alive or kill me. If it's anyone, he hasn't ruled me out completely I guess....

    I can't go on without him. I will do anything to get him back and I just feel like I have so much love to give, and I can't share it.

    I'm trying so hard to hang on...
     
  2. Bograt

    Bograt Active Member

    So why is it you feel you cannot go on without your BF/EX/Whatever? If he posted something like that it might mean its over, or he was showing his ass online or some other thing.


    First, are you absolutely certain it was he who posted that?

    Second, If you "would do anything to have him back" all that would do is prove to him that he can do whatever he wants and you will always take him back, no matter how he abuses your love and trust.

    Thirdly, If you have all this love to give, why not lather a little on yourself (in a non-sexual way, of course [unless thats your "thing"!]).

    I know right now life really sucks, and its NOT your fault. In fact, finding something like that out about your other half would ruin pretty much anyone's day. The important thing is to not let it ruin (or end) your LIFE. I can say honestly that I have been close to suicide over failed relationships and in each case I blamed myself and would have done just about anything to have them back, if only to ease the pain I felt for a moment, even if I knew they would cause more pain later.

    You have to decide if this is a one-time act of internet stupidity, or a sign of a serious character flaw that will lead to even more pain and suffering later in life. In the long run, hanging on to someone like that (if he is the latter) will harm you far more than its worth. Go through pain now, get it over with and move on instead of living with it for however long he keeps stringing you along.

    I really hate to say anything bad about your BF, but I have seen and been through a few crappy relationships and just want to save you long-term pain. Take it from me, scumbag guys rarely "turn around", and good guys are out there to be found. We are usually just to shy to say anything!
     
  3. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    Thanks for replying, I guess I'm remembering all the good things about him rather than what a whiny self-absorbed freakshow he could be. The worst part is, if he asked me back now, I'd say yes. I guess that shows true love....or maybe I'm just insane :S
     
  4. LILICHIPIE

    LILICHIPIE Well-Known Member

    masochist type you are if you do him the favor to stay with him
    :dry:
     
  5. Bograt

    Bograt Active Member

    I don't think "insane". I think all you want is a loving relationship with someone who gives back the love you give him. There is nothing insane about that! If he does ask you back, just remember to think about if he will cause more pain being with him than the pain you will be in being alone (probably temporarely if you are loving and devoted).
     
  6. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I don't think I'm a bad girlfriend, I bought him a £369 guitar for him because he was feeling blue one day, now I find out he's selling it and he doesn't have the decency to even tell me. I am so hurt by that.

    The sad thing is I'd give anything to have him back again, I love him so much...I keep on reminding myself what I don't like about him though, for those of you who would care for a better picture:

    1. He thinks he's a rock star
    2. He always had money off of me when i was working two jobs and barely ever paid his way.
    3. He's so conceited.
    4. His ex girlfriend killed herself, but later on I searched the death records and found out it was a cruel joke, he wishes I hadn't told him because he was "ready to forget her"
    5. He is an obnoxious flirt
    6. He worships the ground his best friend walks on and takes dumb advice off of him....he needs to grow up.

    Why do i love someone like this....what the hell is the matter with me??
     
  7. Daze&Confused

    Daze&Confused Antiquitie's Friend

    There's nothing wrong with you. We can't control who we fall in love with.But and here's the important part,he'll probably never change, and your love and you deserves someone better.

    The easiest way to get over somebody is to get under somebody else:biggrin:
    Okay maybe that's not the best advice, but you could find someone or something to take your mind of him.

    I know my advice is neither original nor very helpful,but when it comes to love,you're not gonna listen to me or anyone else. I hope you listen to your head,rather than your heart.
     
  8. A_pixie

    A_pixie Well-Known Member

    I do find other guys somewhat attractive, but I suppose I'm still hurting over him. I was with someone for 3 years prior to this and I never thought I'd get over them but I did, thank you so much for the advice guys I think I know what I have to do now, I'm going to try to hold on.

    Thank you so much :)
     
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