My existence is meaningless

Discussion in 'Rants, Musings and Ideas' started by chaoman, Sep 18, 2014.

  1. chaoman

    chaoman New Member

    I serve no purpose.

    I have no friends. Well, that's not entirely true. I have almost 200 according to Facebook. Nobody talks to me anymore since I slowly isolated myself. I used to avoid going to parties or turn down people when they wanted to go further (sex).

    My brother was just admitted to a Psychiatric Ward for depression and because he attempted to take his own life. I wish I had his courage to go through with it, or at least trying.

    I am 22 and a half yet I have never held a job. I have been to dozens upon dozens of job interviews to no avail. I went to University and College for nothing. Spent my parents money on my education when they can barely afford to keep afloat. 20 months of looking for a job and I've gotten nowhere.

    Next year I will be moving with my family to England to take over the family farm from my recently deceased grandfather. I have no idea how to do any of this.

    All I am right now is a financial drain. I bring in some money through unemployment but with the laws changing in Australia I will soon receive absolutely nothing at all as they will cut off all under 30s from any form of welfare. Once that happens my family will no longer be able to support itself and my being a burden will grate even more nerves. I wish I could bear my younger brothers depression and just remove myself from the world. Go for a nice long walk and simply never come back. Turn into buzz food.

    I have no friends, no job, no money, no aspirations, nothing interests me anymore and I am typing this at 4:15AM. I have no life and no purpose.
  2. scaryforest

    scaryforest Banned Member

    working on farm sounds awesome good fun.
    numbers in people being unemployed have gone down here in uk, you might have better luck here for part time jobs, also
    it looks far ahead atm, right? but there could be many pleasant changes in your life then and give you a purpose.
    try charity work now maybe, it sometimes leads to being employed with some payment.