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My Existence Is Miserable

#1
Hi, my name is Jacob I’m 15 and I wanna kill myself and here’s why. Ok so I came out to my parents That I was gay when I was 14 and they said that they would support me which they did the exact opposite of, I would be with my friends having fun like go to the mall or paint are nails ect but when I would get home they would always say “you shouldn't be doing childish things like that, your a boy not a girl.” And at times it hurt but then they would make up excuses so that I wouldn’t be able to see my own friends, (I used to have a pretty good friend group) Soon people I used to consider my very close friends stopped talking to me because of my parents. My best friend who Ive know for 6 years stopped being my friend last week because she painted my nails and my parents decided I needed money to hangout with her even when I didn’t. She said I just don’t care enough to stand up to my parent, ( I don’t because I don’t have the confidence to) I’ve tried killing myself 3 times thanks to my family who’s said they would support me. Ive Stopped eating, I’ve stopped going outside, I rarely leave my room, all I do is sleep and hope I’ll never wake up. I don’t wanna be alive anymore it’s horrible, why can’t I just die already.
 

Optimistic Goatman

The woolly enigmatic one
Staff Alumni
SF Supporter
#2
Hey Jacob, i just wanted to reply to say that while i know this is a cliche, this kind of thing really does get better over time. I remember i came out to my family back when i was around 16, so about 9 years ago now. And at first my grandparents had a really hard time with it. They both treated it as this disgusting thing i should hide. But over the years my grandmother definitely improved, to the point where she even asks me about new guys in my life, and while my grandfather never truly accepted what i am, he got better at being less harsh about it, and at expressing his love and respect for me in other areas. And these two are both well into their eighties by now. They're part of that generation where this kind of thing was just not ok at all. And regardless, i now have my own personal life that's really separate from them and their opinions, where i can do things like wear eyeliner, or enjoy an episode of RuPaul's Drag Race, without ever having to worry what my family might think about it.

But yeah, my point is that your parents will get better over time at respecting you for who you are, and either way, as you continue in life, what they think about it will matter less and less, as you gravitate away and gain the space to be your own person. For some people, this kind of true acceptance can take time, and so far they've only had a year to adjust. Your life has the potential to improve so much. Don't take a permanent action in response to your current bad circumstances.
 

1964dodge

Has a frog in the family
Forum Pro
SF Supporter
#5
welcome to SF @Mylifeismiserable we are a peer community that cares but never judges anyone. and as @Cynic Goat has said things will get better over time. your family should accept it more as time goes on. and you will be an adult and on your own soon and you can then live your life as you wish.

i came out to my aunt when i was 17 but never to my parents, i thought i was gay but i was actually bi. at 21 i married my wife and had 3 kids but of course i'm still bi i just don't cheat. i told all 3 kids if they were gay or bi that it was ok i would support them no matter what, and i did the one that was bi.

you are just starting out in life and if a person is straight bi or gay is up to the person. of course suicide at such a young age would be tragic to say the least. hopefully someday you will find that special life long partner. and please feel free to talk here we are listening and we do care...mike...*hug*brohug
 

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