my experience.

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by sydvicious, Mar 6, 2012.

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  1. sydvicious

    sydvicious Member

    in October of 2010, i overdosed that day...well, wasn't great obviously. i was waking up for school and my mom was screaming at me and just left for work afterwards. i was crying and screaming, seeing that my carpool was going to pick me up soon. i went to my moms bathroom and pills, thinking that they would kill me, (later i found out that wouldn't kill you) and i went to school. i sat in my literature class waiting, and thinking about if i was going to do it. i went to the bathroom, popped the pills, and right as i walked out of the bathroom i felt them. it's black from there. i wake up in the hospital down the street from my school. it's really all foggy and whatnot. it was 6pm when i woke up. a guy came in to evaluate me. then they said i was going to a hospital. i went to Del Amo, by the airport. way far away. i rode in an ambulance, strapped to the chair thingy. getting to the hospital wasn't bad, but once i got there i just cried and cried. being in there was the worst experience of my life. it was prison. i witnessed my first fist fight, and still i can hear the punches. i kept to myself for the week i was there.
    that was my second time being in the hospital and the most memorable.
    i'm not proud of my actions, and even though i still have these thoughts, i'm trying. i know doing is different than trying, but trying is the best thing because i've been dealing with these problems for 5 years now.
    someday i'll be better i hope. right now, not so good. but. i just need to try and think positive i guess.
    i still struggle every day.
    Last edited by a moderator: Mar 6, 2012
  2. Sadeyes

    Sadeyes Staff Alumni

    I am so glad you are with us...are you receiving any therapy after these attempts? I sure hope so because support is so you can also get support and caring from people who know what you are going through...please keep staying positive and talk to is good to know you are not alone
  3. sydvicious

    sydvicious Member

    yeah i'm going to therapy again due to last month when i attempted again. i'm trying to stay positive. i'm trying my hardest.
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