Closed eyes watching the colors flow past my pupils in the dark. Listen to your heart is screamed through the silky swirls of red. That simple sentence scrambled around my corneas as if I were a blender. Listen to your heart. How am I to decipher what it's saying? Listen to your heart. I don't understand through the colors swaying around in front of my eye, to the rush of whispers telling me to sway this way or that, or the blurs that are created in the mud of colors I've seen. Red. Passionate, romantic, painful, and true. All I saw were colors as I danced in the quiet room to my own music in my head. But now my eyelid opened up and with one eye looking around beginning to see the world I have chose not to be a part of, I see why I stayed in my own little world for so long. But even my own little world, my smiles, my happy places are all dark and muddy and full of pain, pulling me this way or that way. My eyelid should have never opened up.