my failed attempt

Discussion in 'After Effects' started by iKayla, Aug 3, 2009.

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  1. iKayla

    iKayla Chat Buddy

    i attempted in feb on valentines day, i was so sad and had no1 to talk to, and the one i could talk to was busy... i just felt like total crap and was freaking out and having panic attacks.
    my parents went out, so i decided i would take 4 doses of nyquil to kill myself, my friend did it in january and died, we aren't sure if it was suicide but i miss him. so i decided to do it too
    anyways i took the doses fell asleep
    and then my parents came home and asked me if i took that much, i lied and say i spilled it. then my mom started yelling at me and saying how selfish i was and that she cant trust me and decided i have to have my door open
    then idr how long after i started puking on my bed from ODing. i felt horrible.
    then i knew i failed. but it woke me up, i never wanted to feel like that again... but yet i still want to kill myself now. its been about 6 months of me feeling like killing myself, things just haven't gotten better.

    yeah, this was my expierence. :sad:
  2. Aurora Gory Alice

    Aurora Gory Alice Well-Known Member

    Sounds horrible Kaylasu :(
    I think Valentines Day is one of those days that makes everybody feel like shit and is definitely a trigger for me also. And it sounds like you are suffering a lot from your friends death. Have you thought about talking this over with somebody? Grief counselling maybe? It can help a lot.
    Your parents yelled at you only because they love you and they care.
    I'm glad you haven't made another attempt since and things are getting better. Are you taking meds at all now?
  3. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Member Safety & Support SF Supporter

    Hi Kaylasu and welcome to the forum.

    I'm so sorry for your loss. :(
    Have you had any therapy to help you cope? It would be well worth a try :hug:
    I'm glad you survived,keep fighting x
  4. iKayla

    iKayla Chat Buddy

    no i haven't. i've had therapy before for stuff like this, it doesn't help me
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