My family hates me for no reason!

Discussion in 'Suicidal Thoughts and Feelings' started by LadyLoves1, Jun 30, 2013.

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  1. LadyLoves1

    LadyLoves1 Member

    I've always been caring, loving and submissive to my mother, brother and sister. I will actually coward to them just to keep them happy and in my life. All of them abuse me and treat me like a child and I'm 25, especially my mom. I don't understand her, she comes to me the most, I protect her the most when she's hurting yet she laughs and bullies me around my brother.That's one of the worst feelings to have, your family hates your guts but you give them all the love you can give. My mom abused me today and treated me like crap for trying to tell she and my brother to do the right thing regarding a violent situation, they cursed me out and told me to shut up. They laughed at me when I was walking down the hallway. She didn't apologize when she was in the wrong, I did. I followed her like a lap dog waiting for her to show me affection and she didn't. I don't have friends/associates, I am not close to the rest of my family, haven't seen them in years. I only have my niece and nephew but they're too young to understand anything. I'm alone no one loves me. I planned on taking my life many times but I'd always revert back to the days where someone actually cared for me, which kept me here. Every day I teeter on the edge of suicide, the death bed is right there at my fingertips. I feel so unloved and alone, there's no point in me existing anymore. No one wants me here obviously. I'm just taking up other people's space, there's no point in living anymore :sorrow:
     
  2. Butterfly

    Butterfly Pokémon Master Staff Alumni SF Author SF Supporter

    It sounds like they are taking advantage of your good nature and emotionally abusing you. It's time that you put your foot down with them and maybe look for a place of your own to stay.
     
  3. Acy

    Acy Mama Bear - TLC, Common Sense Staff Member Safety & Support

    I'm sorry your family is being that way. I can imagine that it hurts you a lot. I hope you begin to find your own self and your own voice so that you don't need your family's approval to feel good about who you are.

    It might be hard at first to keep telling yourself that you're good, so use the support you get from people here at SF, instead of what your family says. It takes effort and work, but it is possible to get away from abuse...it takes some time to relearn that we are OK and even good individuals. (I've been in this kind of situation myself.) It might sound silly, but perhaps make a list of things about yourself that you like. Any time your family gives you a load of unwarranted criticism or put downs, read your list and remind yourself you are good.

    I see a caring person, who is brave enough to want to make her own life better. That's a fabulous beginning, LadyLoves1. I hope you keep posting and that things begin to move in a positive way for you soon!
     
  4. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    I'm sorry to hear you are experiencing these issues at home. What about friends and co-workers or fellow students (if you're in college)? Do you have plans on moving out of the house at any time soon? Sometimes going on your own can help establish that independence that creates for new experiences and relationships. It can sometimes help un-tether other relationships that perhaps have come on times of feeling strained.
     
  5. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    Hi. I am so sorry to read that this is happening to you. You certainly deserve a much better life than living with your family. When I was your age i had moved back in with my mother. She was quite abusive. I lost so much of what power I actually had, that it felt like I could not leave. Eventually I knew that to save my own life I had to leave. I do not know how you feel about moving out on your own. Abusers do tend to make sure to steal people's connection to their own power and self worth. so they feel powerless to leave. Powerless and worthless to do much of anything, for that matter. I do not know if this is the case with you. That you have lost connection with your own power and worth. If so, I promise you that this can come back. Promise.

    Can you think of any support system that you could turn to in the community? You are such a good person. I can hear that. You deserve to have an enviorment where you can be safe, heal and even flourish.

    I hope that you will keep writing here. Let us "brainstorm" to hopefully find a way where you can make some good supportive connections in the community. Because that may be the first step to getting out of your toxic home. Please stay alive. The world needs good people like you. The past and present can be very different from the futue. :hug:
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jun 30, 2013
  6. razor2012

    razor2012 Active Member

    I can relate to a degree. I've been going through similar issues. But maybe not as intense. I'm the black sheep of the family. My Mom, brother, and sister like to push my buttons and then blame me if I react. When others form an alliance against you, even unintentionally, it's quite easy for them to think they're in the right. I don't have very many friends either, only one in the city I live in. It sucks. I tried to meet people but people seem to have their walls up. Sometimes I want to end it all, just to get back at my family, and anyone who I view as not treating me fair. I want them to regret being #$@! holes to me and missing me. But then I think about how much I will hurt them too.

    Lately though I've been thinking better thoughts. I'm going to make my life @#$! awesome, and forget about their petty bs. When they see how awesome my life is and how I don't need them, they'll think a bit harder about trying to pigeon hole me into staying their black sheep in their pasture.
     
  7. jsph444

    jsph444 Member

    usually mothers sometimes are like that, especially to the children they love the most; believe you me.
     
  8. LadyLoves1

    LadyLoves1 Member

    Thank you all for your kinds words and support. It really cheered me up today. I never would have thought I'd be the one my family turned on. I'm practically the good child but they see as a detriment, it's painful. Also no I don't have friends from anywhere, I don't have anyone I can turn to but here. I'm not exaggerating either, I don't have anyone.

    When I said treat me like a child, I didn't mean in a tough love way, I mean in a mocking me and making me feel inferior way. They treat me so bad :( But now I have a place to come, even though I can't see or touch any of you I know you are all here for me.
     
  9. flowers

    flowers Senior Member

    you are right in that. We ARE here for you. You have a community now. A community of people who can recognize that you have a good heart and that you deserve what is good! :grouphug::cheer2::encouragement:
     
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