My family needs some help and direction

Discussion in 'Help Me! I Need to Talk to Someone.' started by Ricki, Dec 31, 2012.

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  1. Ricki

    Ricki New Member

    Hi,

    I am so lost as to how to deal with my family's current situation. Let me tell you a little bit about my family and then I will do my best to explain it.

    I am married and have a teenage daughter. My husband works and I recently enrolled back into college. My husband and I don't drink or do drugs and we try to live a pretty stress free normal life.

    Now, here is my situation. My step dad has a son. He is 29 years old. On Dec 16th while he was living with his half sister he broke into the neighbors house and drank a bottle of prescription cough syrup to try to commit suicide. He went to a rehab and got out on Dec 23rd. He has no drivers license due to a previous DUI from Illinois. He got his DUI in 2004 and all he needs to do is pay the fines to get his license back. He grew up in Illinois with his mom who died about 5 years ago. He showed back up in Texas after she passed and lived with my mom and step dad. I really don't think he knows how to do things on his own. When he stayed with my mom it was okay at first but, then he stole money from them so my parents made him leave. Now with his current situation his half sister told him he had to find somewhere else to live because she has 2 little boys and doesnt want that type of behavior about them. To sum this up quickly without getting people more confused as of Dec 23rd he is back with my mom and step dad. Somehow the conversation has come up to have him come and live with us. I need some help. I don't know how to handle this type of a situation. To be quite honest I dont know this guy and my worry is my daughter. She is 14. What should I do? I know my parents can't handle this on their own and this guy just floats around from house to house with absolutely no drive initiative to better himself.

    What are the chances of him trying to do this again? Should we bring this guy into our home to relieve my parents of the burden? And when someone attempts to kill themselves what happens after that? I need some direction please help if you can understand my story:)
     
  2. WildCherry

    WildCherry Staff Member ADMIN

    I hope this doesn't come out sounding too harsh... but no, you shouldn't let this guy into your home. Your main priority has to be your daughter, and he doesn't sound like someone she needs to be around. It sounds like this guy needs some REALLY serious help, but he has to want to make some positive changes. There are obviously reasons his half-sister doesn't want him around her kids, and I think it would be a good idea for you to follow her example. Your daughter's safety comes first.
     
  3. Ricki

    Ricki New Member

    Over the holidays my husband and I spoke to him about going back to school and trying to better his life. He has even researched anything since we talked to him. I really don't know how to help this guy? He makes 7.50 an hour at his job, has a GED...no drivers license..and at age 29 the only thing he can say he has is 3 boxes of stuff. I don't know how to handle someone with depression like this. I am hoping that by joining this forum someone can give me a direction or atleast an opinion on this situation.
     
  4. Ricki

    Ricki New Member

    You don't sound to harsh at all. I appreciate you opinion. I know he needs help. We really just don't know what to do for him.
     
  5. Ricki

    Ricki New Member

    He is the type of person that needs someone to push him. First of all if he came here to live I would be taking him to and from work. If he went back to school I would be doing that too. He has no idea how to even save money he has none. I really just don't get it. And I really don't know how to deal with someone who has tried to take their own life.
     
  6. pickwithaustin

    pickwithaustin Staff Alumni

    WildCherry is 100% correct. Your daughter cannot be exposed to that within your home. Nothing is more important than she is. Did you say you are in Texas? In Texas, we have some very good programs in place to help people in his situation. First off, the suicidal incident should prompt you to encourage him to look into some mental health screening and services. In the county I'm in, in Texas, we also have what they call respite centers. These are place for temporary living for someone like him. If you want any referrals, feel free to contact me in private and I can possibly get you some resources (depending on where you/he lives).
     
  7. Wysteria Blue

    Wysteria Blue Well-Known Member

    You can also get him "evaluated" at almost any behavioural health center...if in DFW area..try Green Oaks or Presby. Also, NAMI is an excellent source of information and familial support. They have crisis and information lines that will give you some great resources and local intervention. I wish you the best of luck. Remember, facilitating is one thing, and care-TAKING is another. He will have to take some initiative on his own as well. Otherwise it will not mean anything to him. Best of luck...WB
     
  8. total eclipse

    total eclipse SF Friend Staff Alumni

    He needs to get his own place and not move in withyou YOUR child is what is important here YOURS and he needs to really research what supports there are for him in housing arrangements in the community and not be a burden on anyone else now
     
  9. Petal

    Petal SF dreamer Staff Alumni SF Supporter

    Hi there,

    First thing that came to mind when I read your post is trust your instincts, do not leave this guy into your home. Let him prove himself first. If he is making money, he can find a bed sit or some place.

    Don't mean to scare you-but those most at risk of actual suicide (going by statistics) are those who have attempted to take their lives in the past year. I am saying this in the hope that you can help him get help for himself. Counselling, a doctor, medications. He obviously has quite a few problems and you cannot take all of that on yourself. Perhaps maybe, even show him this site? Maybe we can help support him.

    I wish you the best of luck.
     
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